Question: Am I normal for feeling this way, I am never asked out, always ignored. Advice?

[Smithnek]

When Im with my friends who are slimmer than me im always ignored or alienated when guys come around us. It's not like i am obnoxius, i just quietly wait till they go away (lol) My friends are always the ones to be hit on but not me. The only time I get asked out if I have something tight on. Im not ugly or fat but I guess you can say I'm slightly thick. And im totally aware that the majority of guys that come around us are total assholes who want sex, not a relationship. And I try to blow it off, but still everytime it happens my self-esteem plunges and it makes me magnify all my imperfections. Please do not tell me to get uglier friends or lose weight well because thats just mean and unhelpful. Not conceited, just makes me feel like i am gross. (i'm a girl)

[leavemealone]

You don't have to lose weight or get uglier friends, but you may want to get new friends if they're making you feel out of the loop. It might not just be the kind of guys who are attracted to your friends who are lowing your self-esteem, but it might just be your friends ignoring you. It would help you a lot to try and surround yourself with friends who make you feel good about yourself instead of like your an outsider. Also, if your with friends who are nice and respectful to themselves and the people around them, they're going to attract the kind of guy who is looking for a solid relationship and not just sex. As for how you see yourself, the majority of guys actually are attracted to girls who aren't stick slim. They like when girls have a little junk in the trunk be proud of your body, it was made specially for you and nobody else. Eventually your going to find a guy who loves you for you. Stay positive and stay strong

[Nicole!]

Honestly, if the only guys who you find are attracted to you when you are wearing tight clothes and only want sex, then there's no point because you deserve someone who likes you for you. Don't let your friends get you down because you think they are prettier, I'm sure you are just as beautiful. Its important to attract the right kind of guy, rather than a lot of wrong kinds.

[Chris.]

Be who you are. You never want to act like someone else - because then you attract others who you don't want. So I would just try to block out the negative comments going through you head. Your not imperfect. Actually - you are almost perfect (no ones perfect) because you want to be YOU - and I can tell because you said 'dont tell me to loose weight'. You seem to be set where you are - and that will attract guys, if you believe it or not. It takes time - and effort.

I don't always go for the hotties - I tend to go for the girls who are more socially active and out going. Looks don't mean much - but a out going girl who isnt afriad to say soemthing to me is what I find attractive. Maybe you can start being alittle more outgoing. You know those guys are assh***s - so tease them alittle bit and wear tight clothing and then talk to them but don't try to 'get with them'. Nothing wrong with teasing or flirting (not saying go to far with it and be like, well, you know how some girls are)- and as far as I can see that may help you self esteem.


Best wishes,
Chris

[Smithnek]

It's like these random guys will come out of nowhere and its almost like they will make it a point (body language) that i am not important. And it is not necessarily whos prettier. I guess its because my friends are wayy smaller than i am. I feel as though i dont want to go out anymore because i am tired of feeling alienated and embarrased.

Now that I think about it, i had a gay friend who came out the closet to me and even though I did not ask, she made it a point (multiple times) that I was not her type. She proceeded to show me what her type was: skinny girls. I am not gay but I was crushed.

Btw these answers are awesome