I really need help... :'(

[Toz]

Well. This is what's wrong.
I'm a freshman in college. I met this girl orientation day, and my jaw hit the floor the first time we talked. We hit it off really well. We became great friends quickly. As is the nature of these things, I fell for her and I fell hard. I've never loved anyone- yes, loved, as much as I have her. I'm not a lovestruck kid. I've had experience dealing with these things. Here's the problem. We met in July. It's January. I've told her, and this is what she told me:

• She isn't ready now. She has a lot on her plate, and a relationship would make it tougher. On top of that, she just got out of a really bad relationship around the end of high school. She still needs time to get over that.

• The next thing she said was that she'd been in "this situation before," and ended up hurting her best friend.

• That it doesn't "just happen." I'm not sure what that really means. She then said that feelings don't appear instantaneously.

• I asked, "What would it take to happen? She said that it wasn't anything on my part: that I was the nicest, cutest, smartest, funniest, most "mellowest" guy she'd ever met. But that relationships just didn't pop up.
  

I really need help. I'm not sure what to do. The only thing I know is that I love this girl.

[Aletheia*]

If a relationship isn't what she wants right now, she isn't going to change her mind. Take her word for it: it has nothing to do with you. But, I'll break it down for you.

• If the relationship was bad, or the break up ended badly, she's going to need time to figure that out on her own. If she's having a hard time with classes, home life or just things in general, she needs to work these all out on her own time. She's right in saying that a relationship would make them tougher. Not only would she have herself to worry over, she'd have a relationship to worry about too. That's a lot to take on if she already has a lot of things going on. Don't take it personally

• She most likely ended up in a relationship with a friend before she went to college. It probably ended badly, hence why she said she ended up hurting her best friend. A relationship between two good friends can be awesome sometimes, but if it were to end badly, the friendship could get hurt as well. I think she's trying to avoid this.

• She's right. Love DOESN'T just happen. Love comes over time when you're in a relationship with another person. You're confusing love with lust. It happens a lot when you have really strong feelings for someone, and it's a natural thing. However, it sounds like she doesn't share those feelings for you.

• It sounds like she only sees you as a friend, and if that's the case, there is really nothing you can do to change her mind. As unfortunate as that is, she has her heart set on not having a relationship right now. You can't force her to have feelings for you, nor can you force her to want to have a relationship. If she DOES have feelings for you, she'll be ready for that on her own terms.

Unfortunately, my overall advice would try to move on from this girl. At least, feelings wise. I don't mean to end your close friendship with her. It sounds like you have a really good friendship, and it doesn't seem like she shares any romantic feelings for you. It sucks, yes, but it's going to happen throughout your life.

[Toz]

I've told her all that stuff is okay, though. We even both agreed that now isn't a good time for a relationship- for both of us. Everything I've said has been reached mutually. I just don't know where to go from here. Some days I want to move on, but I always come back. No one has affected me the way she has.

[Aletheia*]

If you've both reached this decision mutually, your best bet would be to either move on or to continue on with your friendship. Go about things as normal until she decides that the timing is right.

[Toz]

Thank you for your help. really made sense.

[Aletheia*]

No problem, Toz. I hope everything works out for you in the long run!