How do you know when you're in love?

[Yorehl]

Ok, February is the three year mark for me and my girlfriend. She was my first girlfriend and I've loved her for years. But lately I've been noticing that she gets mad a lot, and she's a very jealous person and I don't really feel appreciated. I feel loved, but not appreciated. Recently I've started imagining myself with other girls, but I don't know if I can stand to lose my girlfriend because we have so much history. Am I just being crazy and selfish?

[Aletheia*]

Considering you've been with your girlfriend for 3 years, I think it would be safe to say that you're in love. This however is just my opinion, I suppose.

To answer your subject question, when you're in love you just know it. You'd find varying answers to that question as people define love in different ways. Two people will have completely different answers.

However, you're not being crazy OR selfish. It's okay to imagine yourself with other people. It's whether or not you decide to act on those imaginations that it becomes a problem. If you want to fix your relationship, you need to let your girlfriend know how you're feeling. Communication is very important, and without it, your relationship WON'T last much longer. If she's jealous, explain to her that YOU'RE WITH HER, NOBODY ELSE. There is no reason to be jealous, no reason for it at all. But, all of these things need to be explained before they ruin your relationship for good.

[Chris.]

I agree with Shannon (besides the 3 year - in love thing).

I personally believe that it doesn't matter how much time your with a person - you still may not be in love. You may like that person to a far extent - but it may not be love.

Being in love is a hard thing to explain - as Shannon said this definition will vary.

As Shannon said, you aren't being selfish or crazy - everyone has a stage where you think about being with someone else or just imagine it. Just because you have thought about other girls - and to some extent imagining it that does not mean that your relationship is going bad or anything of that sort. I wouldn't worry to much about this - it is normal as far as I'm concerned.



Best wishes,
Chris

[Nicole!]

Long-term relationships will do this to you. You just need to remember why you first fell for her in the first place. You should do something to 'spice up' your relationship. Maybe go on a really romantic date? I would also have a talk with her about the jealousy as well so it doesn't turn into a bigger problem later on.