small issues with my ex

[Viky]

I broke up with my boyfriend two days ago. Honestly I'm glad I did. He valued his video games and everything else more than he did me. I felt like I didn't mean as much to him as he did to me. And since he hasn't even tried to get me back. However we are still talking. He keeps mentioning that he's Heart Broke and depressed. Every time he says that I feel guilty. Like I shouldn't have done that so that he wouldn't be hurt... But I can't go back to him. I've done it a few times and I've regretted it every time... But I don't know what to do about him... He keeps asking me what to do about being heart broken and I don't know what to tell him.

[Aletheia*]

Honestly, it's best if you'd just end contact with him. Break up's are hard, there is no doubt about it. Some people can jump right into being friends with their exes, while others can't. It sounds like he's trying to indirectly ask you to come back to him, and since you know it hasn't worked out in the past, then I wouldn't advise it now. Just let him know that you both need some time apart, to think things over.

[leavemealone]

Tell him to back off and stop talking to you. Hes just trying to make you feel bad and guilty so that maybe you would go back to him. Your stronger than that! He doesn't deserve you and he knows it, that's why hes stooping so low. You deserve someone who is going to pay attention to you and make you feel like gold not someone who values his video games more than a human being. I never understood video games, and I never will. Just cut off contact with him, tell him to leave you alone, and never speak to him again. Hes a user, a taker, not a giver. Stay strong!

[esfdhtfy]

I'm going to reiterate what Shannon said. It's very difficult to have a relationship at fourteen years old, especially because boys usually mature slower than girls do. While you might be committed to the relationship, he may not be at that stage yet. You've seen it several times and, as you said, each time you went back to him, you've regretted it.

Clearly, you two can't be friends - for whatever reason. I imagine this is difficult because relationships tend to bud off of close friendships. Losing a friend, and ex-lover, is never easy but it doesn't seem like you have much of a choice at this point. He's trying to make you feel guilty as a result of leaving him, only to try and reel you in back to him. You seem wise enough to realize that you shouldn't catch his bait and you should remain broken-up. Do not get back together with him for the sole reason that you feel guilty for breaking up with him.

Everyone will experience heart-break at one point (usually many more) in their lives. You should never get back together with someone or stay with someone for the sole reason of not wanting to hurt them. In fact, you're hurting them (and yourself) much more if you stay with them under false pretences.

My best advice - cling on to your other friends during this time. You need space from this guy. He needs time to get over you, and you him. Reach out for support to your other friends and try to move on in a way that he is no longer a main factor in your life. After that, you can remain friends if you two are up to it but I can't see why you'd want to be friends with a boy who consistently makes you feel guilty for breaking up with him. You don't deserve it and you shouldn't stand for it.

Good luck.

[Viky]

Thank you to all three of you. I feel a lot better now even just after reading those.