Best Friend's Bf

[rhonda38]

My best friends bf said he liked me and wanted to kiss me. I don't like him that way and obvs I told him nothing could happen, but he told me not to tell her. Him and her started having problems and I felt so bad for not telling her that I had to. I thought if I didn't it would come up later on and be even worse. When I told her she was really upset and I don't blame her but now I feel like she hates me and that I shouldn't have told her. We haven't really talked and I just don't know what to do. I don't want our friendship to be over.

[Aletheia*]

Hey there!

Firstly, welcome to TH!

You did the right thing; your friend had EVERY RIGHT to know that her boyfriend is a jerk! It was wrong of him to say those things to you, especially knowing that you're his girlfriend best friend. Did he not expect you to tell her? Sounds like a real keeper

I doubt she hates you. This wasn't your fault in anyway. It was all his fault. This is a pretty big indicator of what her boyfriend is really like, and right now she just needs to decide what to do about it. I would talk to her; make sure that she understands why you told her, and make sure you explain that you hope your friendship doesn't end over this!

Good luck!

[Nicole!]

If he wants to kiss other girls, especially his girlfriend's best friend, then he isn't worth her time anyway.
I'm sure she doesn't hate you, she's probably just trying to process what has happened and decide what to do about it. Its a very upsetting thing to hear about.
You did the right thing as her best friend by telling her though.

[Skeleton]

Telling her was the right thing to do because she deserves to know what her boyfriend is like and if she's going to be mad or hate anyone, I imagine it'd be a boyfriend for doing such a thing. Chances are, she's just upset about what happened and needs sometime to deal with that, I'm sure eventually she'll be back to talking to you as normal and everything. Just give her space to deal with it.

[Chris.]

I agree - 100%. Telling her was the right thing to do.

I would send her a text, or call her - don't just wait for her to contact you. Tell her you just felt it was important to tell you that he said that - and you don't want her to be upset with you. There really isn't much more you can do but to communicate with her and tell her that you of course said no - and wanted your bestfriend (her) to know what was going on. I think over time she will settle down and contact you.



Best wishes,
Chris

[esfdhtfy]

At the end of the day, whether to tell her or not was your decision - and you made it; you decided to tell her. Personally, I think you made the right decision because it demonstrates that you care about your friend and felt that she deserved more than to be with a guy who can't keep his mouth shut, even to his girlfriend's best friend. It's evident that this guy is not very bright and doesn't care about her much.

I know that you two haven't spoken much recently and I'm not surprised. She just found out some pretty painful news about her boyfriend and I wouldn't be surprised if she wasn't talking to anybody recently. Give her time to get over it. I'm sure she's not mad at you specifically, but more angry and hurt with regards to what happened. You did the right thing.

Give it time.