What should I do? I Need advice.

[MisterD94]

Alright so I would have been with my girlfriend for about 11 months today. I broke up with her because my stress levels were off the chart, and I needed to somehow get a break. Mainly the stress is produced through text message and facebook chat. She says things like "I don't know what to do anymore" and "Is it worth it anymore?" Things of that nature. This happened throughout our whole 11 month relationship. I told her this but it's hard for a person with these problems to just stop, and I completely understand that.

We are in love, even after the break up. This relationship has been EXTREMELY difficult for the both of us. When we started dating I knew she was either bipolar or depressed or even both. I didn't know it would be this bad. Things were good for the first month, in fact they were great. Then she checked into a teen mental hospital. She's not crazy, she just has a bad past and has had a hard life in general. She's been in 8 different foster homes. When she was 10 (now 17) she was adopted and was with that family until just a few months ago. I figured out there was verbal abuse and even some physical abuse. No rape, but a few cases where her mom hit her for very stupid reasons.

She moved out and into my home because no one else could take her in at the time. That's when my stress started to go through the roof. She started clinging to me and not giving me space (which is understandable when one is neglected) but for a month straight I was not getting my space to breathe; and I'm an independent person as it is. I started losing enthusiasm in the relationship and wasn't really into it, but I still loved her to death. I still do. I then became more and more stressed due to school and the thought of moving to college just scared me and beat me down. Mostly the stress (I believe) is just from the texts and facebook messages. Most of the time there is an emergency or she just needs to talk, and that's what i'm there for. She now lives with a good family that takes good care of her, not far from my house.

After 11 straight months of being her therapist (which she also had, just not a good one) I couldn't take anymore. I was putting to much of her own problems onto my shoulders and I crumbled under it all. I had to get away from the relationship even though I loved her. I don't know if I should get back with her, we're still friends and we still hang out. We're both very sad that it was like that and still sort of is, I just want her to be happy.

Please help me.

Thanks

[GCCBrian]

Originally Posted by MisterD94

Alright so I would have been with my girlfriend for about 11 months today. I broke up with her because my stress levels were off the chart, and I needed to somehow get a break. Mainly the stress is produced through text message and facebook chat. She says things like "I don't know what to do anymore" and "Is it worth it anymore?" Things of that nature. This happened throughout our whole 11 month relationship. I told her this but it's hard for a person with these problems to just stop, and I completely understand that.

We are in love, even after the break up. This relationship has been EXTREMELY difficult for the both of us. When we started dating I knew she was either bipolar or depressed or even both. I didn't know it would be this bad. Things were good for the first month, in fact they were great. Then she checked into a teen mental hospital. She's not crazy, she just has a bad past and has had a hard life in general. She's been in 8 different foster homes. When she was 10 (now 17) she was adopted and was with that family until just a few months ago. I figured out there was verbal abuse and even some physical abuse. No rape, but a few cases where her mom hit her for very stupid reasons.

She moved out and into my home because no one else could take her in at the time. That's when my stress started to go through the roof. She started clinging to me and not giving me space (which is understandable when one is neglected) but for a month straight I was not getting my space to breathe; and I'm an independent person as it is. I started losing enthusiasm in the relationship and wasn't really into it, but I still loved her to death. I still do. I then became more and more stressed due to school and the thought of moving to college just scared me and beat me down. Mostly the stress (I believe) is just from the texts and facebook messages. Most of the time there is an emergency or she just needs to talk, and that's what i'm there for. She now lives with a good family that takes good care of her, not far from my house.

After 11 straight months of being her therapist (which she also had, just not a good one) I couldn't take anymore. I was putting to much of her own problems onto my shoulders and I crumbled under it all. I had to get away from the relationship even though I loved her. I don't know if I should get back with her, we're still friends and we still hang out. We're both very sad that it was like that and still sort of is, I just want her to be happy.

Please help me.

Thanks

Sorry to hear that man, hope everything goes well.

[Nightmarish.x.Slumber]

I think you stuck through it as long as you could, but with her clinging to you all the time and with her problems surrounding you and becoming more of a concern than your own problems and your own life, it's not a healthy relationship for you to be in anymore.
I think you should both just remain friends for now, at least until she gets this under control and learns to be more independent and learns how to control her emotions and her problems a little better. This is a good thing for her now that she's in a better home with people who care about her, she can maybe find a better therapist and hopefully will get better.
Hope everything goes well.

[MisterD94]

Thank you for your responses... really makes me feel like there are more people out there that care. More responses the merrier.

[MisterD94]

I forgot to add that she used to cut herself. She promised me that she wouldn't anymore, and she hasn't in probably 4 months. She tells me sometimes that she still gets the feelings and urges really bad. This scares me a bit and hurts me when she does it because it makes me feel like I can't make her happy enough to not want to do that.