Triggering (SH): he threatend

[Elrosea Elric]

Last night I was feeling so sad, I was crying and feeling the urge to cut.My boyfriemd said if I did,he'd
leave me...........
I didnt, but now , were complacated.


Advice?

[Aletheia*]

Your boyfriend is trying to protect you, and threatening to leave was just his way of getting that done. I'm sure he knows that self-harm is an addictive process, but it's a deadly one.

Give him some time to think, and then talk to him. Communication is #1, and in order for your relationship to become uncomplicated, you need to talk to him about it.

Here is a list of self-harm alternatives to try: www.teenhelp.org/alternatives

[Nicole!]

If this was the first time he found out about your cutting, he may not have been sure how to react; it was a surprise to him.
Although I think he handled that completely wrong. As your boyfriend, he should have offered support to you rather than saying he would leave you just because of how you handle your depression.
Although cutting really isn't healthy, instead you should try some alternatives, as Shannon said.
I would give it some time, and then try and discuss it with him and see how he is feeling about it. If he still says he will leave you if yo cut, then he isn't treating you right and it may be best to find someone who will treat you right.

[Chris.]

I agree with looking at the alternatives. However, I have to disagree with Melody. I personally don't think he responded badly with this situation. Yes, he needs to support you but what you need to understand is that sometimes thats how guys will support you (or any female). Why would he threaten you? Because he likes you - and he wants to support you but cant think of anything else to stop you from doing it. He knew that if he supported you (without a threat) that you would think there is no consequences for your actions. Now, with him threating you in a loving manner like this; he is simply saying that if you hurt yourself - the relationship needs to be over. Do I think he would carry that threat out? Not likely - but if you kept doing it I think he would eventually fall apart and have to find a happier lifestyle thus leading to the conclusion of the relationship.

What to do now: I would look at these alternatives, and communicate with your boyfriend and tell him that you aren't going to hurt yourself [anymore]. Tell him you don't want to lose him and you want to be healthy. He will support you - and everything should be better and not complicated.

I hope this works out for you.



Best wishes,
Chris