Confused - I don't know what to do.

[Callalily]

It has been a year since I liked someone. I knew he liked me at first and then the feeling just became mutual. It just felt good to see him genuinely smile at me However, I never told him how I felt because I'm afraid of what might happen because he has been sending mixed messages over the months Over the year, I've become emotionally connected to him and it is hard to get over the fact that he might not feel the same anymore. It was my fault and I don't know if it's too late to tell him how I feel about him. I've recently asked him to a dance (Since I go to an all-girl's school), which was yesterday. It was like I was with him but he was not really "with" me. We danced but his attention was elsewhere and he kept looking at his phone, which was obvious that he was not really "with" me. We slow danced to "I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing"..haha it was a bit awkward. But he was so kind, thoughtful (gave me a corsage! ), sweet, honest and polite and that's what I love about him, but I just don't know what to do since he feels so distant. I usually see him in confirmation and we just ignore each other :/ Today I saw him and just said hi, but his smile looked forced. I can read body language quite well..and I know that something is wrong. I'm afraid of losing him Thanks for reading and any advice is helpful I've always figured that I should just be honest and upfront with him, but I never been able to stick to that promise.

[Chris.]

I want to share alittle poem with you:

"‎10th grade

As I sat there in English class, I stared at the girl next to me. She was my so called "best friend". I stared at her long, silky hair, and wished she was mine. But she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. After class, she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before and handed them to her. She said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

11th grade
The phone rang. On the other end, it was her. She was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart. She asked me to come over because she didn't want to be alone, so I did. As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine. After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of chips, she decided to go to sleep. She looked at me, said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Senior year
The day before prom she walked to my locker. My date is sick" she said; he's not going to go well, I didn't have a date, and in 7th grade, we made a promise that if neither of us had dates, we would go together just as "best friends". So we did. Prom night, after everything was over, I was standing at her front door step. I stared at her as she smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes. I want her to be mine, but she isn't think of me like that, and I know it. Then she said "I had the best time, thanks!" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Graduation Day
A day passed, then a week, then a month. Before I could blink, it was graduation day. I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. Before everyone went home, she came to me in her smock and hat, and cried as I hugged her. Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said, "you're my best friend, thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

A Few Years Later
Now I sit in the pews of the church. That girl is getting married now. I watched her say "I do" and drive off to her new life, married to another man. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't see me like that, and I knew it. But before she drove away, she came to me and said "you came!". She said "thanks" and kissed me on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Funeral
Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my "best friend". At the service, they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years. This is what it read: I stare at him wishing he was mine, but he doesn't notice me like that, and I know it. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why. I wish he would tell me he loved me! `I wish I did too...` I thought to my self, and I cried"


The point is that its better to have a broken heart - than to never know how the other person feels. Communication in life is so important - and it is even more important in a relationship or friendship. You cant hide in the shadows and expect him to come to you and tell you he likes you. You have to tell him - and before its WAY to late. Who knows - it may lead somewhere - but if it doesn't you move on, and you find someone who likes you just as much as you like them.



Best wishes,
Chris

[Callalily]

Thank you so much, Chris Jackson! Thank you, thank you, thank you; I loved what you wrote and I will consider your advice.

[Aletheia*]

Maybe something is going on at home that he was distracted about at the dance; He never really said anything so you have to assume it could be anything. I'm sure he wasn't trying to hurt your feelings by being distant, but since you go to an all-girl's school, maybe he felt awkward being there where the only person he knew was you? This happens a lot, especially if the guy is shy or is in a new environment.

It's never too late. Definitely let him know how you feel. Honestly, the worst thing he can say is "no" and that doesn't mean it's the end of the world. That just means you'll have to move on and continue as life was before he said "no". Don't ever be afraid to tell someone how you feel. Obviously, Chris gave a wonderful scenario about what can happen if you don't let someone know about your feelings. Take a chance; life is all about them.