Female Advice Preferred: Still struggling with moving on.

[fransh]

Uhm, a girl with who I've been toghter with for about two months broke up with me some time ago, and I have some questions to the girls about it.


The story:

My ex was very unsure about herself because of bullying in the past at prep school, she once told me thanks to me she got this confidence back. Everything was alright untill this day she told me she had been acting a little crazy (nothing serious) with this boy named John.

She apologized and did eveything to win me back, and at last i was alright with it and I forgave her.

Then after a bunch of weeks, we had this discussion about if she had enough time to have a relationship with me, as she was very very busy and didnt really have time to meet me. I asked her if anything was wrong too, and she told me 'My feelings for you are getting less and less'. We broke up.

I was okay with it, I wasn't devastated - somehow.

a day after our breakup she was already very much into John again, and sometimes she even talked about him bringing her home. At last, I told her I wasn't stupid and I knew she broke up with me for this other boy (I assume they had been having contact ever since this party) - She confirmed that but she also told me she didnt tell me because she didnt want to hurt me.

Now, everything is so perfect to her, her confidence back etc, and I just feel so weird, somehow it just doesn't come natural:
The girl has a very little self confindence.
She meets me, gets self confindence back.
Leaves me for another boy.


I just don't know why she left me for this boy, I mean, she must've fell out of love before she started liking this other boy, so why did that happen? We had been togheter for just a month, and at first it was all so perfect, suddenly her love just faded away? I just don't know - Maybe it has something to do with not feeling too bad after the breakup? And when we kissed it felt a little lame, not very special.

Any advice on why her love ended for me? Thanks.

[lilmissdontwannabehere]

Honestly everygirl has a reason at least a bit different from the others. Maybe it was because she knew that while you guys had a good relationship it wasn't going to last forever. It's kind of a tuff situation, but just think of it like this. You made her life better. You said it yourself, she didn't have self confidence until she met you, now she has the confidence to face things in her life,even confusing relationship issues no one wants. In a way she might have done you some good also. Don't know if this helps but hope it does.

[Aletheia*]

The thing is she probably didn't "love" you in the first place. Bare with me, I don't mean that in a rude or mean way. Love doesn't happen after just a few short weeks of dating. Love happens over time, as you get to know one another. I know some people will tell me differently, but this is what I stand by.

She most likely liked this guy before she began dating you. This is what my own guess is, anyway. She dated you, won her self-confidence back with your help. You obviously had some kind of play in that. That isn't necessarily mean it's a bad thing either; you helped her to become who she once was. That's a great thing!

However, it seems that her feelings weren't as strong for you as you thought they were, or that she thought they were. This happens; you only dated for a while, and it's normal to feel confused about what your feelings are. This is most likely what happened to her.

I'd just let it go. She obviously wasn't worth your time anyway, and she did a horrible thing by leaving you for another guy. She isn't even worth a second thought, in my opinion.

[SamMarie]

I don't think she thinks of you any less of a person, but rather she didn't feel the same anymore. For reasons, feelings just faded with her. Sometimes it's just unexplained. It sucks, I know. Things just don't click anymore or maybe there wasn't anything there in the first place. It was probably best she broke it off anyway. Would you rather she led you on? Besides you deserve someone better. I feel like that was a slap in the face to say you helped her get her confidence back. But, maybe she actually did appreciate you helping her with the confidence. Either way, you're going to feel less about yourself which you shouldn't. Sometimes words are better left unsaid. I feel bad for John honestly. You should too. She left you over another guy? She could do the same thing to John. Maybe John will help her ignorance continue. Good luck! (: