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Relationships and Dating Ask here for advice on dates, break-ups and other relationship concerns.

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Angry I'm honestly so angry right now. - January 10th 2012, 04:28 PM

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I hatehatehate how things bother me so much. Like, something will happen and it doesnít even phase anyone else and Iím just stuck on it for days.

Anyway. I slept with this guy I really really like, which sounds like it would be great, right? But no.

first off, he didnít even ask. We were just making out and he stuck it in. Iím not saying I was raped or anything. I just kind of wish he had asked me first. idk.

Then afterwards he just told me to leave, pretty much. I mean, I sort of understand, because his parents were home and all, but jeez. He didnít even offer to give me a ride home or anything.

idk maybe Iím just being dumb. I was in a really good mood for a while afterwards (like 2 days) but now I feel like Iím falling apart. I just really want him to like me and I know heís not going to and I donít know why I keep letting him get what he wants from me. ugh.



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Re: I'm honestly so angry right now. - January 10th 2012, 04:33 PM

Don't beat yourself up about it; we all make mistakes. It's pretty clear that he doesn't want a serious relationship with you. All the signs point to "I don't like you". It sucks, yes but after this past incident, I would move on from him and leave it be. He crossed a line, and while I know you don't want to consider it rape, it could have gone in that direction. He should have asked, and he shouldn't have pushed you to leave afterward. If he liked you, he wouldn't have done those things. It's time to remove yourself from this toxic situation before it gets worse.











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Re: I'm honestly so angry right now. - January 10th 2012, 06:51 PM

I'm so glad to know that I'm not the only one this has happened to. My story is a little different because the guy left instead of asking me to leave, but it just felt really awkward and sudden. You've got every right to be angry about what happened...sometimes people just do unexplainable actions. If he doesn't like you that way then it's possible you're being used? Which you know you don't want to be. It stinks but we can't make people like us, and I'm really sorry this happened to you...maybe you can tell him something like, "That was kinda awkward" or something that's not really confrontational. I'm sure you both need space.



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Re: I'm honestly so angry right now. - January 11th 2012, 12:28 AM

It's pretty simple. He knows you'll fulfill his primal desires because you like him, but he doesn't like you back. Or else he would have been concerned over whether you wanted to do it very much, and you getting home, ect. So cut him off; show him that's not how this is going to work. Don't go out of your way to talk to him; don't look at his facebook; don't let him get you down. You're better.
   
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Re: I'm honestly so angry right now. - January 11th 2012, 03:31 AM

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Originally Posted by Ambiance View Post
It's pretty simple. He knows you'll fulfill his primal desires because you like him, but he doesn't like you back. Or else he would have been concerned over whether you wanted to do it very much, and you getting home, ect. So cut him off; show him that's not how this is going to work. Don't go out of your way to talk to him; don't look at his facebook; don't let him get you down. You're better.
My problem with cutting him off is that I know he won't care. Like, if I stop talking to him it won't phase him at all, he'll just wait for the next girl to come along and do the same thing to her...



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Re: I'm honestly so angry right now. - January 11th 2012, 04:41 AM

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My problem with cutting him off is that I know he won't care. Like, if I stop talking to him it won't phase him at all, he'll just wait for the next girl to come along and do the same thing to her...
My first relationship was abusive, and I remember feeling INCREDIBLY stressed out when I dumped him, because I was worried about what would happen to his next girlfriend. The problem is that you can't let your life revolve around him. You can't keep him in your life because you feel the need to "keep tabs" on him, warning other girls about what he may or may not do. You can't keep him in your life because you don't want to see his indifference when you tell him you want nothing to do with him. That's obsessive and unhealthy behavior on your part, and it will only lead to your dwelling on this incident for even longer than is necessary. The only person you can control is yourself - so do what makes you happy, and let him go on with his life. If you're in a position to warn other girls, fine... but tread carefully, because 1) he may not do that to the next girl, and 2) it could be perceived as stalking/harassing behavior.





   
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Re: I'm honestly so angry right now. - January 11th 2012, 04:58 AM

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Originally Posted by LoveFever View Post


My problem with cutting him off is that I know he won't care. Like, if I stop talking to him it won't phase him at all, he'll just wait for the next girl to come along and do the same thing to her...
Cutting him out of your life isn't for his OWN benefit, it's for yours. Cutting him out of your life will help you move on. One of the above posters was right; he knows you'll fill his most primal desires, and that's all he's going to want. Cutting him out of your life will get yourself out of this cycle, which is extremely toxic.











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Re: I'm honestly so angry right now. - January 11th 2012, 06:11 AM

As others have said, he knew you were willing because of you liking him. He just exploited that and took advantage of this. Is this right of him? No, absolutely not, and he should feel what it feels like to be taken advantage of. But honestly should you beat yourself up about it, personally I think not. You gave it your all, you liked him, and you did everything in your power at the time to show that you liked him, and to show that you trust him. He took it differently, and apparently does not like you. Thank god that this was not your first time, as your thoughts of him would have been much, much worse. If I was in your shoes, I would take him out of your life, and move on.

As nice as it would be to warn others, I too believe that its just going to complicate your life, and give you burdens that are unnecessary.
   
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