Young marriage?

[michaelxlife]

So, my girlfriend and I have both decided that we want to spend the rest of our lives together and get married, though not before we have the financial means to support ourselves. I'm 17 (I turn 18 in just over a month) and she's 19.

What do you guys think about marriage at this age? I'm curious (for obvious reasons).

[Aletheia*]

Marriage is a huge step, and while it works for some young couples, it doesn't work for ALL young couples. There is ALWAYS going to be a chance that the marriage will end in divorce. But, all marriages have that possibility. This is something you REALLY need to think about before making such a huge life decision. You could figure out that you want to be single in a few months, and things will end. Or, she could figure out marriage isn't what she wants and things will end. A lot of things can change between now, and the actual time you'll say "I do".

I think young marriage can work, but extra effort is needed. It's not for me, but you could always prove the skeptics wrong.

[heather_tate19]

a couple of my friends got married right out of high school. They seem happy, like they are just making it by. However, they are all working and didn't go to school at all. it's difficult for them especially since they are raising families as well- they need to make enough to support themselves and their small children too.

my personal feeling about it is to wait a while. do some traveling, go to school, do things that you want to do, because one someone is married, it's a lot harder to do that.

hope this helps a little.
-Heather

[Acheron]

What does marriage give you that you don't already have?

[Tegan]

Personally I don't have an issue with marriage at this age?
If you're in a committed relationship then to me it seems natural to want to discuss the future of that relationship. To me it seems like part of the natural progression of a serious, mature relationship is the desire to be together for the rest of your lives and possibly to have children together.
I don't really see any reason why you can't do any of the things you want to do (college/university, travelling etc. etc.) whilst being with another person in an engagement or marriage, at the end of the day if you're committed to the relationship you can make it work.
Good luck :] hope that helped.

[LeapOfFayth]

Originally Posted by Acheron

What does marriage give you that you don't already have?

While I am married at a young age this person brings up the most important point of all. What does getting married do for you both that you don't already have? All it is is a piece of paper really (unless you're religious I suppose), even when my wife and I got married and people asked us if anything changed nothing does, you just get a paper saying you're married.
We got married so we could share benefits from work and because we both felt we were ready for that step in our lives. But really, there's no rush to get married just because you know you're with the person you want to marry, what's waiting a few years going to do?

I would also wait until you've both lived together on your own financially independant of your parents. That added stress can make or break a lot of relationships no matter how strong they are before.

[PSY]

Acheron brought up a great point - what does marriage add to your relationship?

Age isn't really the deciding factor. Things like maturity, financial security, etc. are factors that determine whether or not it's a good time to get married. Three of my friends married at young ages - 19, 20, and 21, I believe. None of them really wanted to get married at that point in their lives, but they felt they had to for various reasons. All three marriages are rather rocky now, and I don't believe age is why things aren't working out. I think it's because they saw marriage as a "quick fix" to their problems, and that's not what marriage will do for a relationship. If anything, it can make the situation worse, because then you feel "tied down" to your partner. You can't really take a "break" to sort things out once you're married to someone.

[thebigmole]

My freshman year of high school there were these two seniors that started dating about 2 months before school let out. They were engaged by the summer. Most people thought they were crazy. Their parents didn't support the decision so they were on their own trying to pay for school and go to school and work, eventually they both dropped out of school. But they NEVER gave up on their relationship or their marriage and 6 years later they finally got the money to get married. By that point they had their own apartment, he had managed to go to school and she started going after. They are very happy. The point of the story is that it certainly can work, I for one suggest a long engagement, just so you can get jobs and money and possibly a place to live in order before having to worry about wedding expenses.

[Le bonheur*]

To me, being in a committed relationship is no different than marriage. The difference is just a piece of paper saying you're legally binded with more responsibilities. I'd rather not be 'legally binded' to someone unless I know I can live with them and afford everything that comes along with marriage. Being 18 and unemployed myself, I couldn't imagine getting married right this second. I'd rather enjoy stress-free life as much as possible (even though my life isn't all that stress-free ). However, I believe it's a personal choice. I know a few people who married their high school sweethearts just out of high school. I thought it was dumb at the time but it's ultimately their choice, not mine. My choice would be to wait, as I mentioned. There's no harm in waiting, the person you want to marry will always be around as long as you were truly meant to be.

[Squiggly]

I am 20 and my boyfriend is 22. We have been dating for just over 2 years now and we are engaged. I am not sure yet how soon we will get married probably not for a year or two or maybe even three . But yea it is kind of similar. We have known for a year already that we wan't to spend our lives together. We don't believe at this point that our feelings will ever change or that we will regret this choice but we do know that in any relationship there is always the risk of divorce. In my opinion age isn't really a problem if you love someone you love them no matter what the age. As long as you think very seriously about your decision before you make it then you should be fine

[Dez]

Young marriage does work out sometimes. For instance, when my parents got married my mom was 19 and my dad was 21 and they're still married like 40 years later, something like that. But there are also a lot of things to consider before you do get married, such as how financially stable the two of you would before and when you got married, where you will be living, any jobs, etc. There are a lot of things that you would have to sit down and discuss before you get married. Not only that, but both of you are still young, you have to make sure that both of you are ready for the commitments of being bound by marriage. But, it is your choice, after all, and there is still a chance that it will work out!

[FillingWithHope]

I honestly don't think age is the issue. I believe that you both have to be mature enough to handle such a big step and that both of you are really ready and not just saying you are to make the other one happy. As long as you two will are happy and can figure out everything and still be able to handle it then, I do not see a problem. I used to work with a girl who is 17 and her boyfriend is 19, he proposed to her and she said yes. She and her fiannce though are waiting until he is out of college, but it just depends on your values. Good Luck!

[Brandon]

It's best to wait. If you know that you're gonna spend the rest of your life with them, what's the rush? Not like they're leaving you anytime soon.

[AmazonQueen]

Young marriage CAN work with a lot of hard work and communication to work problems out as they come, and of course love is the fundamental building block here.
My grandma was 17 and my grandpa was 21 when they got married and their marriage lasted until my Grandpa's dying day.
Nothing is impossible but I still agreed with what others have said: What does marriage give you that you don't already have? Saying you're married does not make any difference other than papers and a ring. Sometimes after marriage relationships fall apart because one or the other, sometimes both individuals change from young adult hood to the time the rest of us (the majority of) are ready to settle. People change, circumstances change. The person who is perfect for you at 20 years old may not be the perfect one when you are 50.
Again as others have said if you are certain this is who you want to spend the rest of your life with what's the rush? Take your time and test the waters, don't just dive in head first.

[bitesize]

The idea of marrying at my age ~ 21~ makes me shudder. The only people I know personally that married at this age are my grandparents. I love my boyfriend so much, but we both assume automatically that we're not going to be together forever, no matter how much we love each other. I think you change a lot between the ages of 15 and 25, and you still haven't finished growing emotionally at this age. Personally I don't think it's a good idea at all. That's just my opinion.

[Sincerely Yours ♥]

While I do think that a few couples at my age (or within a few years give or take) can get married & last a lifetime, most won't. The divorce rate is already at 50%. Personally, I would rather get married after college & preferably after I have a set job & such. I think I'd even move in with my boyfriend first before marriage. To me, that's better than getting married young then divorcing. I'd rather marry & stay married. But really, what's the rush?

[Colors Leave Me Blind]

Originally Posted by Acheron

What does marriage give you that you don't already have?

I agree with this totally. I dont disagree with marriage at this age, but you both definitely have to be ready for it. and you have to be able to be financially stable. But, one thing i think you guys should do before marriage is live with each other. Because you don't know what it's like waking up every morning next to the same person. and do you know if you can handle living with her and being with her every minute of the day that you are home. I know, you will probably say you can but you really need to try it before you know for sure.

[how.we.operate.]

The only age issue I have with marriage is something like Courtney Stodden's case where she is 17? and the guy she married is I think in his 50s.

Well my thoughts are that you should get to know the person you want to marry pretty darn well and you must keep in mind what this all means for the future because this is a very serious thing.
Also, definitely make you two mesh well:
Life-what are your life goals for the both of you? Will you go to college? On that note, are you sure you won't meet another person along the way? Will you get officially married right after you are 18?
Family/parents-you do have to keep in mind that they play a huge part in this...maybe you should talk to them about things before taking a leap forward. See what their thoughts are etc.
Meshing-with my boyfriend and I, we both have separate places but we pretty much live at each other's place; he will stay here some days and I'll stay at his. An important step to determine things is to make sure you can stand living with the other person...that or know what it is like so you can make adjustments.

[Dream]

I'd say keep dating for a few years, and if it goes well, propose to her. I know people who have already gotten divorced. :/

There is no need to rush to get married at this age.

[TheBabyEater]

My aunt got married younger than I am, I'm 19. She dated her husband for 3 weeks before tying the knot. They're in their 60s now and still happily married.

Just saying.