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Relationships and Dating Ask here for advice on dates, break-ups and other relationship concerns.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
stfu.cuppycake Offline
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Question Why is it too young to fall in love ? - January 12th 2012, 07:15 AM

Why do older people tells us (teenagers) that it's too young to fall in love ? That we don't know what it means ? I mean, yes I do understand about being too immature & that. Is there an actual age limit where you fall in love ? Do you have to be 18+ to fall in love or something ? It's so stupid. I mean, my parents started dating when they were 14 & how they're still happily married with four kids & three grandsons. So, why is it that all those 18 or so year olds keep telling us it's too young to fall in love ?. Thanks in advance.


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Re: Why is it too young to fall in love ? - January 12th 2012, 09:59 AM

There is no age limit to falling in love. I think the reason people say that you're too young to fall in love is often because people change as they grow up. So for example, I fell in love at 15. I dated the guy for a year and a half. Over this time, he changed into the person he is now, at almost 17. And we're not together any more because although I'm still in love, he's a different person who likes different people. I think that's often what happens when you fall in love young. Not all the time, but often.

I think teenagers probably know the most about falling in love. It's a time when you surrender to your feelings completely and often leads to the worst heartbreaks you'll ever experience. But you probably won't get to stay with that person for your life.

But no, no age limit.


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Re: Why is it too young to fall in love ? - January 12th 2012, 03:12 PM

No, there's not an age limit, but most young kids think they're in love when they're not. And the rest of us have been there, so we know that that's what happens when you're younger.
   
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Re: Why is it too young to fall in love ? - January 12th 2012, 04:25 PM

It's because people have developed a bias through personal experience to suggest that you're too young to fall in love. It could very well be. What people are concerned about is whether that feeling of love will last when you become older and start thinking about your future in a much more deeper way. Basically, people don't think that you're too young to fall in love; people think that you're too young to fall in love to recognize whether that love will last for a long period of time or not. But there is always a possibility.



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Re: Why is it too young to fall in love ? - January 12th 2012, 04:25 PM

^ I totally agree what the above users say.
And yeah I don't think there is any age limit. Because some people are immature even at the age of 50 to handle relationships while some are mature enough at a very young age to handle them.



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Re: Why is it too young to fall in love ? - January 12th 2012, 04:28 PM

I do agree there's no age limit, but I also have to agree with Evanesco, people change as they grow older. I had my first love at 14, I was with him for 2 years and I thought we'd be together forever, but I was very wrong. He changed, a lot. Over time I finally realized what a jerk he'd become, and even though I still loved him at the time, I left him because he wasn't treating me right. When you fall in love young you often think it's all perfect and you'll be together forever, but most often this isn't the case. It isn't neccesarily because you're immature, it's because a lot of younger people aren't sure how to handle certain situations in a relationship, and that could lead to a relationship's downfall.

Now that I'm a little older, looking back I see that I thought I knew what love was, and I realize I was wrong. I'm not saying young love can't last, I'm saying it doesn't happen often.


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Re: Why is it too young to fall in love ? - January 12th 2012, 08:48 PM

Oh, that makes more sense now. Thank you


Never have I ever Fallen in love. "Happy hunger games, & may the odds be ever in your favor."
   
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Re: Why is it too young to fall in love ? - January 12th 2012, 09:40 PM

Hey Stephanie,
Many people will tell you this because when you're young you can think you're in love when you just really like the person. Also love can be cruel and it can hurt. If I could have had it my way I would never have fallen in love until now. Love is a very complicated thing, and as I said it can hurt, and someone of the age of 13 or 14 shouldn't have to experience it until they can understand it a little bit better.

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Re: Why is it too young to fall in love ? - January 12th 2012, 09:47 PM

I personally think that lust is often confused for love especially at the beginning of puberty when ones hormones are out of control. So I think that at a young age it's really hard to know if your in love or not. And honestly I think a person needs life experience to really understand and know that they are in love. That's not to say that a couple that meets at 14 won't eventually evolve into love.


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Re: Why is it too young to fall in love ? - January 12th 2012, 09:55 PM

I think it's the fact that people automatically assume they love someone at a young age. Love these days just seems to be a game to a lot of younger people just to feel accepted or cool. Sometimes love isn't exactly what love appears to be and that is because as people we do change over time. I mean, no doubt I fell in love at age 15. He was my first love, my first real boyfriend. I had my heart set on him and over time we just became too different. Thus, we adventured into different directions.

Now, that I'm with my current boyfriend, I see a lot of the past mistakes I made with my first love. I was really too young to understand at that moment in time that it really was just a spur of the moment kind of love. While, I think that love is something that should be developed through time. We only think of the present as young people when we really should be considering the future as well.

I think that with love there is no age limit, but there is a limited understanding of love at a young age where we think there is love. We're manipulated as young people because just like everyone else we want to be happy. I think love is what we create of it. It comes down to your personal opinion of what love is to be honest and the way your character is made.

Whatever you define as young, I think it's because we're still learning about ourselves and we really don't know a lot about reality. Young love is usually imagination even if you feel the feelings were real. They just don't have that understanding of what's real and imaginative. "Too young to love" is just another way of saying "You still need to learn more about life before really falling in love." It's not really all about age.





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Re: Why is it too young to fall in love ? - January 12th 2012, 10:23 PM

Long story short, they say it because often we change a LOT by the time we finish puberty. Many college/university students change careers, basic personality traits flip (messy to neat) and what we're looking for in a partner can change drastically. It's not that we can't fall in love, simply that there is a good chance we'll get hurt.



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Re: Why is it too young to fall in love ? - January 13th 2012, 03:30 AM

My perception: love does not exist; not the everlasting, forever and spellbound kind of love, anyway. Love is just a word to describe a mixture of emotions that is the result of a special kind of bond between people. Love is what you make it; not what the almighty society tells us it is.


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Re: Why is it too young to fall in love ? - January 13th 2012, 03:34 AM

Yes, I know what you all guys mean. I know many girls who has different boyfriends every week & tells them ' I love you so much, you're my everything blabla. ' anyway, yes I know it's stupid :L. I dislike people like that. I've been with my boyfriend for over four months & I agree, we don't love eachother yet. I'm pretty mature than any other girls on my age. Anyway, thank you (y).


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Re: Why is it too young to fall in love ? - January 16th 2012, 02:31 AM

There is no age limit. I think people who say that we're too young, it's because they know we might not be, or we are but we're going to change as we get older. But I think it's very possible for teenagers to fall in love, definitely. Just because it doesn't always work out, or one person isn't as mature, or our opinions change, doesn't mean it wasn't love.


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Re: Why is it too young to fall in love ? - January 16th 2012, 02:57 AM

I always tell the younger crowd that they're too young to "fall in love" only from my personal experiences. I don't think anyone is incapable of falling in love at any age, as there is no age limit. But, I think love gets confused with lust a lot of the time. When I was your age, what I thought was love, definitely wasn't love. What love to me now is definitely not what "love" was to me then.











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