What if you KNOW you WON'T marry your high school sweetheart?

[Ambiance]

I've dated this guy for a while. We have had several ups and downs, but ultimately at the core of things, I think we sustain a happy relationship. We love each other, very sincerely.

The thing is, and I don't know how to put this nicely, he's kind of a jerk at times. I don't mean this in a super-harsh, critisizing way, I mean he's tons of fun to be around and at the core of things, he really is a good person. When we started dating, I could have seen myself ending up with him. But, he's not nice to everyone if he finds a reason to dislike them, he has a morbid sense of humor and can't really get on board with a lot of things that I find funny (by can't get on board, I mean hardcore dogs on me for liking them), he says a lot of rude things even if you're on his good side and expects you to understand that that's just his sense of humour and he's ribbing you... but sometimes it just seems to cross the line to me. :/

I had nearly forgotten this... but we had an abstinence program visit the school last year, and they asserted that women who dress provocatively are either: a: ignorant, b: teases, or c: invitations. So, if you feel this way, don't take offense, because I wouldn't care if a friend supported this idea, but I found it to be an incredibly ugly concept. I mentioned how awful I thought that was, and my boyfriend basically said he agreed with it.. which led to another topic... and it turns out he's one of those people who feels that if a woman dresses kinda skimpy, and gets raped, that it's as much her own fault. It's not something he voices a lot; it's not anything that's even come up since we discussed it last year; it's just that, I almost felt it was a deal-breaker at the time, but I couldn't break up with him. When I remember those are his thoughts on it, I can't imagine spending the rest of my life with someone who has a view that I find so disgusting. And there's other things... I suppose I've put off thinking about it because we're still in high school, but we've been together for two years now and the reason I didn't just break it off with him over any of these things is because I felt it was too big a loss, too difficult a thing to do. But at the same time, there have been several deal-breakers, and I've come to realize that breaking up would only get more difficult with the progression of time. As much as I want to stay with him, I know that there are some attributes he has that I can't deal with for the rest of my life.

Is it wrong to be with someone that you know you won't be with forever? I mean, even if you don't plan to be together forever, shouldn't you want to?

Furthermore, I had a texting/relationship-bitching thing going with a guy friend for a while; but last week he told me that him and his girlfriend were good, and as much as he liked me, he wanted to stay with her. It didn't hit me at first, because I never intended to leave my boyfriend for him and he and I never said anything very raunchy. But I guess I had developed heavier feelings for him than I realized. Now, I realize that I don't want to mess with anyone else's relationship, and I love my boyfriend too much to cheat, which I knew the whole time. So I just have to get over it. But it did make me realize that there WILL be other people... It's just gotten so terribly hard to think of life without my boyfriend.

[Aletheia*]

When I was in high school, I thought I was going to marry the guy I began dating my Junior year (he was a senior, and we met during physics since we sat next to each other). He was all down for it, and even proposed on our one year anniversary. We were only together for a year more. We made it about a month past our two year anniversary. If I had known in high school I wasn't going to make it with this guy, I'd still would have dated him. I have no regrets, and you shouldn't either.

[PSY]

Why do you date?

The answer will be different for everyone, so there's only so much we can do for you as a community. I think it's an important question to ask, though, even if you're "only in high school." (Personally, I date for the purpose of finding my future husband. I don't date "just for the sake of it." If your answer is the same as mine, then staying with your current boyfriend is a waste of time.)

[Nicole!]

Some people date in high school just to learn who they match up well with, and for some experience in relationships. Then when they are older they only date people who they could see themselves marrying.
However, you don't necessarily have to follow this. If something as simple as you two being happy together is enough, then stick with him. This is a tough thing, but only you can decide whether to stay with him in the end or not. If you don't think you can work through his flaws and really don't think you two can last, then it could be a waste of time being with him. It all depends.

[roller♥coaster]

As others have said, this is kind of a tough one to answer because not everyone values relationships in the same way.

If it were me in your situation, I'd probably leave, not because I think relationships are only for the purpose of finding someone to marry (as I'm not all that fond of the idea of marriage in the first place) but because it would feel to me as though I was leading the guy on, knowing that I was planning on eventually leaving him for someone "better." It might be hard, but in the end, it would be healthier for me personally.

A relationship that just runs its course and ends shouldn't be regretted, for sure, though!

It's a tough situation. I wish you luck!