everything hurts :(

[lorilou]

A week ago, my boyfriend broke up with me.

It's kind of a complicated situation, and I'm still not certain of what really happened. Our relationship was fine, we never argued, and got along almost always. We were long distance (about an hour apart, and seen each other once a week which was totally acceptable to me), but he is also military. Going into the relationship, I knew it was going to be hard and was going to take awhile to get into a routine and was going to require some work. I asked him a couple weeks into our relationship if he was sure that he wanted a girlfriend while he went away (because it was bound to happen) to which he replied yes, he was ready to grow up and have responsibilities. And blah blah. He knew that I had lots of trust issues but I had let my guard down and let him in and trusted him, which I haven't done in like two years =/

On Saturday, we were supposed to hang out so I drove down there, first to visit m friend and then him. I get a text saying that 'I just found out that I'm going to be leaving for 7 months in July' and basically proceeeded to break up with me. I made him come meet me in person, to do it to my face because I believed he owed me that much. He said he was scared and confused and had so much running through his head. He said he had heard too many stories about girls cheating on their boyfriends while they were away and was worried I would break up with him half way through his leave. Which I guess are genuine concerns. So he left, and texted me later saying he was so sorry and he was being stupid and he just needed some time to think about things. He asked me if I would stop at his house before I went home, which I did. I knew he was obviously upset because he was being really quiet so I didn't stay very long. We agreed we weren't broken up, but he was going to take time to think about things because I said I understood that he had a lot on his mind.

Around 2 AM that morning, I get texts from him saying 'I figured out what I want and I want you" so I asked him if he was sure, we talked about it and he said 'I can't believe how stupid I was being for the last couple of days, I'm such an idiot. I don't want you to just let me go. I'm so sorry babe, I wish I could drive to see you right now, I miss you so much' and all that stuff.

The next morning, something small set him off (I can't remember what it was) and he basically said he has no time for me, and was being a huge asshole and broke up with me. Again. He said he wasn't replying to me anymore and I'd see it was for the best in a couple of days.

I messaged him the next day apologizing (why, I don't know) basically because I didn't want to end on bad terms. And he said he didn't either and would still like to talk if I wanted to.

Basically, I've been hurting really bad. Like every part of me. Everytime I think I'm feeling better I see something/hear something that reminds me of him. I still go to school, to the gym, hang out with my friends, but I still feel empty. I go to bed feeling horrible, empty and sad, and wake up feeling the same way. I keep having these dreams about him and they're driving me crazy. I've tried talking to some other people, but I'm honestly just not ready for that. I've surrounded myself with tonnes of people but I still feel lonely and like something is missing.

I decided to text him and just say hey, but he never replied. I honestly just want to talk to him, like we had agreed on but apparently he doesn't want to anymore. I just don't understand everything that happened, and really feel like he owes me an explanation that I'll never get. There was no closure for me, I guess. I DO still want to be friends because he touched my life in a way not a lot of people have, and I don't want him to just walk out of it. It hurts the most that he could just way and not care, and I'm hurting so much, you know?

[Aletheia*]

Dating someone in the military is never easy. I know this only too well. My boyfriend is also military, and I've dealt with him leaving a few times in the past.

His concerns ARE genuine. Referring to girls cheating on their boyfriends/husbands while they're away isn't uncommon. Most of them do it because they're lonely, and want to feel close to someone because their husbands/boyfriends are away fighting for their countries. Others do it because they have no heart. You should definitely understand where he's coming from with this. If you haven't, watch the movie Dear John with Amanda Seyfried and Channing Tatum. It will definitely give you an inside look on how that really works.

Now, just give him some space. I know it's a little difficult right now because everything is so fresh, and you aren't sure what's going to happen, but since he's going away in just a few short months, I'm sure he's trying to prepare himself for this. Maybe he's trying to figure things out right now, and he wants to do that alone. If you've texted him, and he hasn't responded, just give him some time to think things over. When he's ready to talk, he will. He might be having a harder time with this than you think. Just give it some time!