What to do, what to do?

[Fortheemperor694]

Hi everyone its been a long time since ive posted here but im back
So really to make a long story short, ive been with my present girlfriend for about a year and a half. Like any relationship there have been both good, and bad times but now i feel like things have been coming to a head recently. Her parents do not allow dating so they really dont know about us (yes i know how bad it is. Her mother suspects it but her father doesnt know at all). Because of this, i am not allowed to drive her home because of restrictions by my parents, and also because of circumstances that surround the driving part( bad driving weather, accident liability, etc. I haven't been driving for a year yet). Today, she asked for a ride home and i said i can see as long as the weather was not bad. At the end of the school day the weather worsened and i did not feel comfortable driving her, or driving in general. Because of this, she became very upset and annoyed. Also, im a senior so prom is coming up soon. Due to the parent situation, she is afraid to ask them and know she probably wont be able to go. I wont be going alone to prom so id probably just ask a close friend to go (as friends, of course). However, i also know she would not like this and it would probably lead to a break up. I know we dont have the most ideal relationship, but we still care for eachother very much. I just dont know what to do about all of this . Any suggestions?

[PSY]

First, I would explain (in greater detail) why you couldn't drive her home. It's not that you don't care about her - but if you get into legal trouble, it's going to bring about some serious consequences for you, which in turn will affect your relationship with her. In fact, by refusing to drive under those conditions, you were showing her just how much you DO care about her. You care about her enough to avoid doing anything that would have a negative effect on the relationship.

Which brings me to my second point. I'm not sure how I feel about you taking a friend to prom, even if it's just as friends. What's wrong with going separately, then getting a bunch of pictures together with all your friends once you have arrived? I mean, there's nothing particularly WRONG with going with a friend of the opposite sex... but try putting yourself in your girlfriend's shoes for a moment. How would you feel if she went to prom with one of her guy friends, took official "prom couple" photos with him, etc.?

[Apple Orchard Ghost]

I pretty much agree with the above.

I've been in the driving situation before. Just explain to her that the weather was bad and you didn't want to get in an accident or anything. She should understand.

With the prom thing, I know I would be kind of mad if my boyfriend took a different girl to prom, even if I knew they were only going as friends. There's nothing wrong with going to prom by yourself, but she could always ask her parents. I always thought my parents were really strict when it came to boys, but they've actually relaxed a lot now that they realize that there are decent boys out there.

Hope everything works out for you.

[Fortheemperor694]

She eventually called me that night and said sorry for freeking out about the driving thing and that she understands where im coming from. As for the prom thing, I understand what you both are saying completly. I dont know if its just personal prefrence or not but i feel for some reason that if i dont go with someone ill regret it for the rest of my life. Also, were not in the same grade so she wouldnt be there if shes not with me.

[Aletheia*]

Maybe an older friend of hers, preferably a girl because of the no dating policy of her parents, could take her to prom if she doesn't have a date. That way, the two of you could meet up. Truthfully, there isn't much you can do considering her parents. If they have a strict no-dating policy within their household, prom might be out of the question entirely. You can always talk to her about taking a close friend of yours so you don't miss out on the whole prom "experience" but you don't HAVE to have a date in order to attend. You could go with a group of close friends and still have a good time.