Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Relationship help

[k95]

I'm new to this, but i really need advice from someone.
I'm 16 and have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for over 2 years. Hes my best friend, the only person i can tell everything to. I really do think me and him can stay together. But we've been having some problems lately... and i don't know what to do...
After about 8 months, me and him broke up. We didnt think we were going to get back together.. but two months later we did! the day we got back together he told me while we broke up that he had sex with another girl.... at the time i didnt care so much, but he never told me who it was. he was too embarrassed. So about a month or two ago from now, cause yaknow, it was over a year ago that it happend, i asked him about it. And he eventually told me. It was this girl he used to be close with, who i didnt mind cause i mean, shes big, ugly, and very guy-ish. i mean like, Burping in peoples faces and whatnot... but anyway right after he told me who it was, i still didnt feel mad or anything, i was just in shock that it was her. But recently, i havent been feeling so great.. Its because every once in a while i get in this mood... i dont even know how i can describe it, its like if i see her name anywhere or if anything reminds me of her (he doesnt talk to her anymore btw)... i just get this sad jealously feeling, which almost always leads to a fight with me and him. and its really bad. He says i make him feel like shit over something that happend so long ago and that he regrets more than anything. When im not in that weird mood, i agree with him completely. But when im in that mood, almost always i feel like UGHHHH i hate her, shes a slut, why would you do that?? ... what i need advice on is why do i get into this mood? its like some weird bipolar thing, like right now, and most of the time i could care less about what he did in the past, and im comletely happy with everything. I just dont know what to do and me and him have talked about it alot and we dont know either. hes scared that it'll get to the point where i'll break up with him over it, since it keeps getting worse. i know i wont though, but it'd sure be nice to get rid of this feeling comletely. Ive told this whole story to another site and some lady pretty much said that i dont trust him with his friends that are girls, which isnt true, i do trust him, i know he wont do anything like cheat on me or anything. i dont know... i just wanna stop feeling like this, and i hope someone can help me. sorry its so long, its just really been bugging me the past month or so..

[Aletheia*]

It sounds like you care a lot more than you're letting on. Which is okay. I think we'd all be upset about something like this. However, he didn't cheat on you when this happened. You had been broken up, and this is something that he has admitted to regretting. I'm sure he has apologized numerous times for it, and there is only one thing left to do: Forgive him completely. If you want these moods to go away, that's what you'll need to do. She was just some girl that was apart of his PAST. You are his girlfriend now!

[Hish]

My best advice is to let it go. It did happen in the past, something you cannot change. He admitted it to you and has apologized for it so you need to forgive and move on. A part of forgiving is moving on and accepting it, not accepting that is was “right” or “wrong” but just accepting the fact that you cannot change it. We all make mistakes as humans and you two will probably make a lot more during your relationship. This is all normal but it sounds like he is really into you because if not he would have left you after the first couple of fights/arguments that you had over this. It gets old constantly fighting over the same issue…once the issue is resolved then you shouldn’t fight over it again. I personally don’t think it has been resolved within YOU. He has moved past it but you have not. Try and work on it (forgiving) within your own heart then your love will show through and he will see you have worked it out. Best of luck!