Confused about signals.. feeling played.. depressed..

[the3003292]

NOTE: This is more of a relationship issue, I guess you can say, but I still wasn't sure if this or the LGBT forum was the correct forum to use.

NOTE2: This is extremely long lol, I didn't think it'd be this long, sorry.

So basically I'm having a problem with this guy. I'm so confused and our whole friendship for the past year, especially, has been a mess and I need help. I'll start all the way from the beginning:

It was the start of my 8th grade year. I had skipped a grade, so I was 12 years old. I was a new student to the school, and it turns out there was another new student to the school who would become my future friend. My first friend was this girl that I liked and quickly got to become good friends with (little did I know that I was walking straight into the friend zone). I'll just call her "Bella".

So the other new student, who I'll just call "Jack", kept to himself most of the time. He was a cool person and me, him, and Bella all sat together at a table in the beginning of the year. Me and Jack quickly became best friends, mostly because I saw how much he and Bella definitely liked eachother. I ended up getting them to go out with eachother (despite me kind of liking Bella) and they went out for a few months.

In the time they were going out, for some reason, their primary thing to talk about was me. I had found out that they were saying bad stuff about me and calling me gay. I was mad for a day but I ignored it like it didn't happen because they were my only 2 friends. Him and Bella eventually broke up but we still were friends. We hung out at school, out of school, went over eachothers houses, went to an amusement park together over the summer, all normal stuff.

Around this time I was starting to be "confused" about my sexuality and I kind of started to develop a "crush" on Jack. 9th grade came, and high school basically split us apart. We never really talked much until the end of the summer before 10th grade (we're in 10th grade now)

We got our schedules and we found out we had pretty much every single class together. I expected we'd be cool and be best friends like we were in 8th grade but he gained a bit of popularity and changed a lot since 8th grade. I got a vibe that his friends didn't really like me so I didn't really hang around him that much, although I really don't have any friends in any of my classes. He also had a bit of a history with girls the past year. In 8th grade, he never really did anything because girls weren't really interested in him, but I guess he found the right people because he's lost his virginity before and I'm still waiting on my first kiss. Him and his friends always talk about girls, and I feel awkward in those situations because I'm not really interested in hearing how awesome someone else's relationships are when mine suck and hearing him brag about hooking up with all these different girls. But at the same time that 10th grade started, my crush started to come back...

So here's the weird part: our first two classes of the day, it's me, him and this other girl that is both of our friends that we always hang out with. Then next period comes around, which depending on the day, is our elective (Music class) or Gym. I'm not really athletic, hell, I'm not athletic at all, and him and his friends are so that definitely creates a barrier for us that period. After Gym there's Math, where we talk a lot, but after that, for the rest of the day, I don't really exist in his world because we have all the classes that the rest of his friends are in. This confuses me.

One day before Winter Break, we were all sitting in extended homeroom, and for the whole like 25-minute period, we were sitting right next to eachother with his arm around me. It was awesome. But then for the rest of the day, it seemed as if he ignored me. This confused me also.

On New Years, at 1am, we both met up (and we live a significantly far distance away from eachother so us hanging out outside of school is kind of not heard of anymore) with eachother, and we spent the best (in my opinion) next 5 hours with eachother, just walking all around town, hanging out. But after that, he ignored/avoided me. This ALSO confuses me.

I never talk to him out of school also. I used to try and text him and he'd text back and legitimately keep a conversation going but for some reason, he'd never be the first to text. I thought he was probably annoyed by me, but based on the way that he talks when I start the conversation shows he's definitely not annoyed. I gave up on doing this because it just felt too weird and desperate. This ALSO confuses me. (you see where I'm going with this)

He was the leader of one of the football teams in Gym, and for some reason, he picked me, knowing that I sucked at football. Around this time, he started hanging around this other kid, who we'll call "Danny". They started to get closer and closer and closer, and now they're never separated. I think they're going out because they're always doing "weird" stuff like having their arms around eachother's shoulders, hugging eachother randomly. I respect his relationship, if it is one, but they're both not openly gay but couldn't really make it any less obvious.

I started getting depressed because I found myself comparing myself to Danny and noting how much better Danny is than me, at pretty much everything, how much of a better time Jack and Danny have together than me and Jack, how much more alike Jack and Danny are than me and Jack..

I don't know if I'm being stupid, or if I'm trying to force my mind into thinking there's something between me and Jack (or at least there was before) or if Jack is just straight up playing me. I'm so confused and I need help.

Lately, I've been trying to force myself to not like Jack anymore, mostly because I hate being 2nd to other people and feeling gone and ignored when his other friends are around (but at the same time, I wonder if I do the same to him because when he's around his other friends, I don't necessarily make an effort to be around them and actually try to be around other people, to prove something to him or myself that I have other people in my life or something..). I always try to be mad at him and ignore him and end conversations he tries to start, but it's just so hard. It's like he has this charm about him that makes it impossible to just give up. Then as quickly as he charms me, he just drops me for his other friends and makes me feel even worse than before.

[Nicole!]

I know that it seems very obvious to you that he is gay, but what if he is just very friendly and enjoys hugs? I'm not saying that he for sure isn't gay, but you should always take this into consideration.
Another thing I'd like to point out is that maybe he isn't talking to you later in the day because you two have already socialized a lot (from what you said about you two in math). What makes you think that his friends don't like you?
I think moving on from him is a good idea, as you did say he tends to ignore you at times. But I think you should talk to him about this and just let him know that you want to be friends again. It may not be like it was in 8th grade when you were really close, but if you get on the same page about the status of your friendship it may give you some peace of mind.