I'm so bitter...

[DiamondsandDiazepam]

I suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder and most of the time I have no idea who I really am. Out of all the relationships I have had I always seem to get these overwhelming feelings of anger, jealousy, sadness and so much more.

I've been in a relationship with a guy, who quite frankly, was an angel. He was always there for me, he helped me save my own life, he made me smile and he accepted me for who I was. It went so well until I switched. For both me and him...it hurt, a lot. We've been on a break before so I could sort myself out..it worked, I guess. Last night didn't do me any favours...but quite recently I have been feeling scared, useless, jealous, lonely and other feelings I actually can't even name because they probably don't even exist.

I was so horrid to him, I miss him so much and being on this "break" really isn't helping.

I'm sorry, I swear.

[Chris.]

I think that maybe you should talk to a counselor or someone of that type. I can see that you are in some type of pain, or hurting. Maybe from abuse as a child, or maybe just something that has been with you for awhile now - but whatever the matter, it needs to not be able to control your life or relationships anymore.

I also think that maybe you should talk to him - and maybe tell him about these feelings and what you are going through. Communication is key here, and if you just act out, and not tell him whats going on than he will get upset and be confused as well. So make sure you make everything clear, and put all your emotions, feelings, and thoughts out on the table.




Best wishes,
Chris