advice....

[xxprincessxx]

You would think that being 20 years old and have been in two serious relationships I would not be awkward and I would know to do in situations as such, but I don't.

So there's this guy in my class, and we've been talking. But it's gotten to the point where we want to hang out, outside of class. No big deal, right? But the thing is he lives off campus, and he wants to go back to his town, again, no big deal. But the thing is the set course of events are: "getting a bite to eat, going to a movie/mall/bowling, and then back to his place." I don't know if I should feel comfortable with that or not...like I'm very weird about touchy feely things and I don't want it to turn into that...and plus, basically I would be forced to stay the night because he's not going to come and pick me up and then take me back, because of the length of time/gas it would take...I have no problem SLEEPING over at a guys place, if that's all that happens...but I don't know. I'm so paranoid about these things. I don't want anything bad to happen...but I also am really interested in him...advice?

[Amber]

Don't forget you can say no. If you do decide to go back to his place with him it will be okay. If he tries to get touchy feely and you aren't ready for it just tell him you want to go slow and don't want to rush into fooling around. He will most likely respect your wishes. You never have to do anything you don't want!

[Nicole!]

Make it clear to him. Tell him you are only interested in being friends. Otherwise, you could start playing along in his mind and he will get the wrong idea. So don't lead him on, just let him know that you only see him as a friend.
If you don't want to be that blunt about it, you could simply say something along the lines of "I really love spending time with you, you're such a good friend." Or something along those lines, it pretty much lets them know that they are in the friendzone.

[Chris.]

I'm alittle confused here. Do you JUST want to be friends? or do you want to see where it may lead?

If you JUST want to be friends, I would go with what Melody said. Make sure you communicate to him that you are going out with him just to spend time with him and have a good time. Make it clear that you don't have any intentions on have a relationship with him - but yet you just want the friendship to be a good one. If you JUST want to be friends - make sure you don't flirt to much, or tease as these hints/flirts may be taken as a sign of attraction.


If you are interested and just want to see where things go, then I would go with him out to wherever and when you go back to his place, try not to get to close to him as to lead him on. If he tried to make a move that you don't want to happen, then tell him that you just want to see where the friendship goes first, and you aren't a very touchy feely person.

The main thing is both these choices no matter which way you pick to go: Communication. You need to communicate - otherwise the Field is open to anyone who wants to play without any rules/regulations. So make sure you set the rules, and higher some referees.




Best wishes,
Chris