I like him, but I don't know if I'm attracted to him - someone please help!

[alexalauren]

So, I like this guy, but I'm very confused. He's not my usual "type". I usually go for the tall, chiseled face, gorgeous hair, etc. My last boyfriend was gorgeous - after a year I found out he was a total jerk - but he was handsome as h*ll and there's no denying that. This new guy I like is cute, don't get me wrong, he's just not as attractive as the guys I would say I'm normally drawn to.

I like being around him, and he seems to like me, but I just don't know! For example, he and I went on a first date this past weekend. We watched a movie together and the whole time while I was just lying there next to him, I felt like I wanted to kiss him, and it felt nice. However, when I stop and look at him I second guess my previous thoughts. He's in shape, a little taller than me, and he's cute - not gorgeous - but he's cute. Ugh! It just drives me insane. It almost makes me feel bad. I feel like I'm being so shallow.

I guess I'm asking what you all think of the situation. Is he one of those guys who grows on you, or am I just not attracted to him, or maybe I'm being shallow...but then again maybe not. I just don't know! Help!

(I'll reply with more information if anyone needs more examples/info) Thank you!!!

[Nicole!]

If you aren't sure if you are physically attracted to him, then you probably aren't. It can be hard to make relationships work unless you are psychically attracted to each other.
However, this could be because he isn't your usual 'type.' Maybe you could try another date or so (make sure its casual) and just see how things go. Do you feel anything when you are around him? If not, it may be best to just leave it as just friends and find someone who you are attracted to.

[Chris.]

I agree with Melody.

Physical attraction isn't everything, but it does make up a pretty large percentage in the relationship life.

The bottom line is, if you have no physical attraction to him, then the relationship will end up failing. I know from experience. I loved this one girl's personality, but when I saw her, I didn't even want to go near her. It eventually came down to a point where I just couldn't hold it in any longer, and ended our friendship/relationship thing we had going on.

Point is, if this is going to control alot of your relationship - then you either need to find ways to get around it, or you may have to end the relationship. Chances are, hes going to want to go further physically and sexually, and if you cant do it because of his appearance, then this problem needs to be solved before it causes some bad situations in the relationship (and not to mention heartbreak on his part). So I would really think about how this is going to affect your relationship; and go from there.



Best wishes,
Chris