What should I do?

[claudia.ramirez94]

So I've been hooking up with this guy for a while now, and I'm confused I like having him around a lot but i barley get to see him, I always hesitate to tell him I miss him because I hate sounding needy. I really really like this guy but he's struggling with family stuff and doesn't want a relationship yet, every time we hang we always end up hooking up and now I think I'm starting to get attached to him, what should I do, get away or just go with the flow to see where we'll end up?

[Aletheia*]

Why don't you ask him if there is a possibility of a relationship in the future? Sure, he's going through some difficult times now, but you have a right to know if there is a chance of you two being together in the future. If he says yes, that's great. Keep going with the flow for right now until his personal life gets situated. If he says no, then you should move on from this and move on to someone who wants to be committed to you. However, don't pressure him to say yes or no. Let him come to the decision on his own.

[NewsFly]

I would cease the hooking up until things are better understood for both of you. It hurts when one person is in love, but the other isn't....so...you may want to detach yourself from things sexually and just be a friend. Talk to him about how you feel and listen to what he says. If he still doesn't want a relationship, it's best to remove yourself from the sexual situation to prevent any further hurt on your behalf. Though, if you're able to casually hook-up and learn/understand that you shouldn't and can't go any further with it, then do as you wish. You could also just wait until he's ready to be in a relationship if you want a relationship with him!

I had a friend with benefit about a year or so ago, but I completely detached myself from becoming romantically involved because I knew he isn't the one for me. Within time, he started developing feelings for me and wanted to be together, so I had to end the hook-ups to refrain from him getting any further attached and hurt.

Oh! And fun fact, when a girl and boy do the baby making grind together, chemicals in the brain makes the male emotionally attached for 48 hours, yet the girl attached for up to 2 weeks! Crazy, right?

[Chris.]

Well if you like him, I wouldn't necessarily throw the chance of having a relationship to the curb. I would talk to him about it - and maybe let him know that you do have these feelings. I bet you that he has feelings as well. You don't hookup with someone who you don't have feelings for them in atleast some way. So, I'm sure that he likes you - but like you said, he is going through some problems, and I think you should support him on those issues.

I would tell him: I like you, but I don't want to hurt myself if we continue to hookup, but you don't want a relationship. Do you have feelings for me?

There needs to be more communication within this friendship/relationship. You need to tell him how you feel (or atleast hint it). But like I said before, don't pressure him because he is going through a hard time; instead just put yourself out there, and make it known that you like him and see how he responds.



Best wishes,
Chris