is wanting hugs manipulative? how to stop?

[serendipity2014]

hi,
i was just wondering about something and wanted to see what you all think
do you ever really want to be hugged/cuddled/held?

i've been working on being a better person for a time now, things like accepting myself, loving myself, trying to really listen to people are trying to convey beyond the words they say, being o.k. with not being right all the time/winning all the time, understanding that you can't control life and that you can only decide to do things or not to, really accepting that you're not special and trying to accept and love people simply because they're people, understanding that everyone has a history and views life in a different way(but that way is completely valid, really accepting that 99% of people out there are smarter or wiser than you and you really need to understand that they really do have valuable things to say), really, just not being so narrow-minded and trying to see the world in ways that other people see it, trying to be a good friend to everyone/trying to help people out as much as i can, trying to get better at communicating with people. i've also had ocd/anxiety in the past, which is mostly gone, i've learned how to just let go and go with the flow and try to enjoy life. anyway, i feel really bad for having feelings like these because they seem so selfish to me. is it just the anxiety? i feel a little better now after listening to some chill music, but how do i stop this feeling of wanting to be held so i can continue more directly towards my goal of becoming a better person? or do i just accept that it's a human thing to feel? I feel like some part of me is evil, that thoughts of wanting to be held really originate from an urge to control, to manipulate, that you can't want someone to hug/hold you, you can only really try to love people and hope they reciprocate but not worry about it. any help/advice would be greatly appreciated!! thank you and hope you all are doing well

[Koharuchan]

There's nothing wrong with wanting to be cuddled or held, I can't see how that's manipulative.

I love it when my boyfriend holds me. Hell, I always want him to hold me. It's not because I'm being manipulative, it's simply because I love being in his arms and it makes me feel safe and comforted when he holds me. There's nothing wrong with it. It just feels good, and it's comforting when you're upset. And of course, I also love to hold him and cuddle him, especially when he's upset or even just tired. He's not manipulating me, I'm just holding him because I love him and it makes him feel good. That's all there is to it.

[Aletheia*]

Wanting to be held, cuddled or hugged isn't a manipulative act. I love when my boyfriend and I cuddle before we fall asleep, or cuddle while watching a movie or TV show. I hug him before he goes to work everyday. Wanting something like this doesn't mean you're trying to manipulate the person. It just means you want to be cared for while caring for another person as well

[Megan1]

It's normal and good to want affection from others- there's nothing wrong with that. I don't think it's manipulative unless you only want the physical things and don't want commitment with it (I don't mean this for just romantic relationships, but even family and friends). As long as you are hugging to show how much you love someone and not JUST to get those feelings, I don't see any problem.

[serendipity2014]

thanks everyone, this is leading me on to new questions