Confused..

[Kyrridwen]

Im not really sure if this is the right place, but my boyfriend, hes trans, maddie broke up with my the other day.. I'm not really sure why, i was just starting to trust him and my feelings were building.. then he just ended it, he lives in canada and just started going back to school after 3 months off due to depression and anxiety and said because im also at school we wouldnt be able to talk more than 3 hours a week.. but wouldnt if i meant something to him, we could have made it work? Or is it better for me.to just move on? He told me it was to save hurting me later and told me not to be upset or hurt myself. when he knows what Im like and i cant.not get upset, i havent hurt myself but i dont know what to do about it.. :/

[Aletheia*]

I can't say why he decided to end your relationship with you. It could be a lot of things that went wrong, but maybe he just needs some space. He recently recovered from depression, so maybe he wants to take some time to see life as it truly is: amazing. Maybe it was the distance that finally got to him. Obviously, there is a time difference between the two of you, making it difficult to communicate during the day or even in the evenings. Just take some time to move on. If things are meant to be, he'll come back. If not, then you have your answers.

[Hollifire]

Long distance relationships are always hard, they take a lot of time & effort. If it's true and you two will barely be able to talk anymore, then I think he did the right thing in ending it now before either one of you gets really hurt. I know it's hard right now, and you feel like everything is crashing down on you, but things will get better. If you two definitely are meant to be, then you'll find your way back to one another. Just hang in there <3

[Kyrridwen]

He thinks we can just be friends without it being weird, and I know its selfish, but I don't want that :/ I want to be with him, or not talk to him, because if i cant be with him then.. I cant get over him while talking to him//

[Hollifire]

If I were you then, I'd just tell him that it's too hard for you to just be friends. If he cares for you at all, he'll understand and wish you the best. I've tried staying just friends with someone before and you're right, it's impossible to get over them because every time you talk, it just reminds you of how much you do like them. It's easier to just cut that person out of your life and let the moving on & healing begin.

[PSY]

Originally Posted by HistoryNerd

He thinks we can just be friends without it being weird, and I know its selfish, but I don't want that :/ I want to be with him, or not talk to him, because if i cant be with him then.. I cant get over him while talking to him//

That's not selfish at all. Most people feel the same way you do - talking to an ex-boyfriend/girlfriend immediately after a break-up is like rubbing salt in your emotional wounds. You need time to grieve the loss of your relationship, to come to terms with what's happened, to understand what went wrong and how you can learn from this experience, and to finally move on.

I would tell him that you need time and space for now. You can establish the rules for contact. Personally, I think it would be best to cease all contact (vs. agreeing to contact him once per week). I think it would also be best if you told him YOU will contact him when you are ready, vs. telling him he can message you in a few weeks/months/after a set date.