When friends come around.

[Aletheia*]

My boyfriend and I do well when we're alone together. We joke, laugh and all around have a good time. But, I've noticed more and more that he treats me differently when we're around our group of friends. He'll continuously be rude, and then his friends get in on it. They're my friends too, and I know that THEY are joking, but sometimes it makes me wonder why my boyfriend does this? Is it his ego? He's the type of guy where girls need to clean, cook and take care of their man, and I hold up my end of the bargain. All I ask is for him to be respectful of me when we're with a group of people. How can I get him to see my point? I've tried many times to tell him this, and he understands that he does, but why won't he change it then? I'm just so unsure of what I should do or how I should handle this whole thing.

[MY NAME IS ERIN]

YAY! I'M FIRST!! BUT ANYWAY, YOU'VE BEEN WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND FOR WHAT? 3 YEARS? THAT'S A LOOOONNGGG TIME!!! MAYBE HE THINKS HE CAN GET AWAY WITH IT. ALL I CAN SAY IS IF YOU KEEP BRINGING IT UP, HE'LL HAVE TO LISTEN. AND IF IT'S BOTHERING YOU THIS MUCH, TALK TO YOUR OTHER FRIENDS AS WELL. THEY'RE INVOLVED TOO!! ASK THEM THE NEXT TIME YOUR BOYFRIEND CRACKS A JOKE, IF THEY COULD NOT RESPOND OR IF THEY COULD STICK UP FOR YOU. EVENTUALLY HE'LL GET THE MESSAGE.

GOOD LUCK!!

[Apple Orchard Ghost]

Communication is key. Make sure he knows how much it bothers you that he acts like that. He might think that it just annoys you a little, and doesn't really make you upset.

[Keyblade]

My boyfriend is like that too. Its like they have some kind of "rep" to protect. They just do that he doesn't get "dissed" by the group of people. But the best way is to sit him down and really T-A-L-K to him about it. Try not to yell at him, he may not even notice it.

[Hollifire]

Oh man, I've definitely dated guys like this. You can tell them over and over again how they're acting & they'll say sorry or that they won't do it anymore, and yet they continue. Maybe you need to do it back to him? Hang out with friends sometime and act the same way towards him that he acts towards you, that way he can see how horrible it feels, and maybe just maybe it'll sink in and he'll stop acting like this.

[Singer180]

I'd call him out on it the second it happens. Maybe he doesn't realize he does it to you when you're with others. Often times, people change the way they act around certain people, you know? Plus, I think after the first time you call him out for it in front of other people, he'll change that attitude QUICK! As for the "You're the woman so you cook and clean" thing, I think that could have a part in his behavior. Maybe I'm just too liberal, but I think that the only way people treat each other with respect is when they feel equal to them. Maybe, in having you doing all the grunt work, he feels like he is above you. I don't know of-course, just an idea. Hope this helped.

[Aletheia*]

He's just an old fashioned guy, as I'm an old fashioned girl. I like doing this for my boyfriend, if that includes cooking and cleaning, I'm going to do it because I enjoy doing it. Not because he WANTS me to do it.

After our friend had left, we talked things over. We tend to fight in front of other people, so we've been working on NOT doing that, so calling him out in front of a friend wouldn't be part of the plan on fixing things concerning that.

It turned out he was acting like an ass because I was acting like an ass first, and hadn't realized it. Our friend just added fuel to the fire, making my boyfriend just be a bigger ass. Luckily, we worked things out, and things are fine now. So, that being said, the thread can be closed

[Singer180]

Yay! Glad everything is better

[PSY]

Closing this thread, since the issue has been resolved. =)