Please help? :'(

[stfu.cuppycake]

Been together with my boyfriend for about 5 months now, been through a lot with him... We fight a lot, which I think is normal. Haven't seen eachother in weeks, but we talk a lot on the phone. He means a lot to me, I mean I had to deal with other girls liking him (we weren't dating back then; kind of whoever wins gets his heart?) Which caused me a lot of cutting, tears & sleepless nights. Anyway, I have trust issues; I've been cheated on, well I don't think it was him, I think it was the girl; kind of it was a moment of weakness thing? Yeah anyway. My boyfriend has a lot of female friends which is fine with me because I have a lot of male friends too. But I started losing a lot because I wanted to focus on him more... Anyway, he has this best friend; a girl, way prettier, nice body I guess, hotter & basically a better looking girl than me. She has a boyfriend which makes me less worried, I don't really care; but until I realised they've been calling eachother names? Kind of like baby/babe or whatever. Saying I love you to eachother. Made me a little uncomfortable. But I kept it bottled up. I was on the phone with him; I finally told my boyfriend how I felt (I was crying), he said he didn't mean to hurt me, that those didn't mean anything. I said alright, but it didn't stopped there. They still do it. I mean, I trust him; its her that makes me worries because I don't think she wants me & my boyfriend to go out at all. My question is, how do I not get jealous a lot? Its affecting our relationship. How do I convince myself that I am good enough for him? How do I deal with these things? Sorry if it went a little long, any advices would be appreciated x.

[Keyblade]

Ah yes. Well the first thing you must do is to realize how pretty YOU are. Don't say that "oh she's soooo pretty" cuz then it'll start with all that worrying. You are a very pretty girl too, why else would he date you? He's not dating your friend, he's dating Y-O-U.

But if you're still having mix emotions about this try talking to him again. And just tell him that he kind of needs to turn down the heat with this girl. Take the step up here, tell him that you don't like it and that it bothers you. And to nicely remind him that he's in a relationship with YOU not her.

Hope this helps

[Chris.]

Well first off, I just want to say that you shouldn't be nervous or jealous at all! Thats what best friends do sometimes. I have best friends that I call babe (while they are in relationships) and I also have friends that I tell them I love them like 24/7; sometimes its how people are and how they show that they care. I wouldn't worry to much about it.

It seems like he is a nice guy - and him apologizing for saying things like that was nice, but you have to understand that he keeps doing it because HE feels comfortable with it. Hes not doing it to make your jealous, or to get you upset. Hes doing it because thats how he and she show the best friend affection and care for eachother. Everyone shows friends different things - and me being a more emotional guy, I am always telling girls I love them! Even if they have a boyfriend.

As far as the jealousy thing - Start loving yourself more. Be more positive instead of negative. The more negative you are - the worse. Also stop comparing yourself to others. You are YOU. And obviously that is good enough for your boyfriend - so stop comparing. Comparing will eventually destroy a relationship. Be yourself, and love yourself.



Best wishes,
Chris

[minniemouseprincess]

Hun, you need to let him do that. Its okay, it doesn't mean anything. Sometimes, thats just what best friends do. I call mine names too and say I love her A LOT but that doesn't mean im IN love with her. It goes the same for your bf and his best friend. They are just friends and I bet they only see each other as more like a brother and a sister. He is your bf and he loves you. But you need to let him have space with her too just like she should let you guys have space as well. Here, lets put it this way. If you weren't good enough, he wouldn't have chosen you. He wouldn't have fallen in love with you. But he did Dont worry about the little things. When they happen, just ignore them and remember that he loves you. Remember that he's YOUR bf and just his best friend. Things will get better, I know they will. If its really bothering you, you could try talking to him again. But if it were me, i'd let it be and just focus on how they are just friends and never will be anything more.

[Aletheia*]

I'd trust your boyfriend when he says it means nothing. Why? HE'S WITH YOU NOW. He's had this best friend for what I'm assuming is a long time, and it's something you'll need to accept. She has a boyfriend, so I don't think you have anything to worry about in terms of their relationship as friends. Is he the one who cheated on you in the past? If so, I think it's stemming from that. If you can't forgive him for it, maybe it's time reevaluate your relationship with him

[stfu.cuppycake]

Thank you guys for your advices, made me feel so much better x & no, he wasn't the one who cheated on me in the past. But I did caught him flirting with A LOT of girls; he told me they didn't mean anything & it's just the way he is. Anyway, I talked to him about how I felt, he promised me that he will never talk to other girls the same way he does with me ever again. & if he does, he wants me to leave him because I deserve better then but I doubt I would. Thank you again ! <3 x.