Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Stuck on a loser?

[AcidRayne*OG*]

I really have gotten myself into a predicament this time. I was celibate from love/sex/relationships the whole thing for a couple of months and then he came around. He lived right across the street from me and I vaguely knew who he was, but he dated the trashy girls in the apartment building across the street and was a drunk anyways, that's what I knew of him. And then out of the blue he adds me on Facebook. At first I was like, "Who is this guy?" And then I realized I kind of knew him and decided to accept his add request despite my better judgement. A coupe of hours he sends me a message asking for my number, so I figured, why not, I could always use more friends. Long story short we ended up texting each other all night and I ended up realizing he was much smarter and more intellectual than he let on. I ended up hanging out with him a lot, and about three weeks later we started dating. My boyfriend has a serious alcohol problem. He went to jail for not complying with probation on an old DUI and told me all about how he would get better, and he has gotten better, but he still clearly has an issue. He got/gets Oxy and Ativan, because his leg is broken right now, and can't control himself when he gets refills of those pills. It gets on my nerves. He has no job (was supposed to look for one after he got out of jail, fucked off for a week, and now has a broken leg), can't have his license back for a long time due to having two DUIs and has no car anymore anyway, he lives with his friend Nick and who knows how long (no one likes to support a bum) and no longer across the street, he lives a good twenty minutes away on the freeway. I get to hang out with him like once or twice a week, because I don't think Nick wants me to bring my almost two year old over there when it's not baby proof and she'll cry and do things that toddlers do. I just don't even know what to do anymore. I love him, but seriously, he's not even a good boyfriend! Things used to be so much different, I used to be so happy, and now it's no good. I do everything I can to make him happy, and he doesn't care, none the less try for me. I don't want to let go, but it really is time for me to grow up, and this is stupid, and I'm sick of not getting what I deserve. Opinions??

[Aletheia*]

Since your a parent, is this something you really want your 2-year old around, as someone as a "father figure", someone who your child might look up to later in life? Definitely not. While the home might not be baby proof, which is fine since his friend Nick doesn't have any children, he shouldn't be expected to baby proof HIS apartment just to fit his roommates girlfriends needs (no offense). However, your boyfriend can't be a freeloader forever, and he's going to have to move towards bettering his life. Since he has two DUI charges, I think it's time you reevaluate your relationship with him. Talk to him about getting PROFESSIONAL help. Ask him if he's willing to go to AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) meetings, if he's willing to do an in or out-patient program for his substance abuse problems. All of these things needs to be discussed before you make a hasty decision. If he's willing, great! Give him a shot to fix things, and possibly get better. If not, I think it's time you get out of this environment. If not for yourself, for your child.

[Singer180]

Sounds to me like you've already made up your mind about him. You've already said in a nutshell that enough is enough. I hate to pull the ultimatum card but that's what might be best right now. If you love him, then just make it painfully obvious that he needs to change or get lost. I know it sounds harsh, but sometime's there's not a nice way to say something you know? And like Shannon said, bring up your kid and how it isn't good for him/her. Hope your situation improves. Good luck!