TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts


Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr Hotlines

You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!



Relationships and Dating Ask here for advice on dates, break-ups and other relationship concerns.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
Anonymous Person's Avatar
 

Posts: 4
Join Date: April 15th 2012

Question My gf is cheating on her fiancé... - April 15th 2012, 10:44 PM

So I'm dating this girl, she's a senior in high school, and I'm a junior, Weve been dating for about 2 and a half months. Everything is starting to fall apart. She has a fiancé and I knew this going into the relationship and it was perfectly fine, she has sex with him and it doesnt bother me because she doesn't hide it. I recently found out that she and my best friend had something together, they werent dating but they did kiss before just not when I was dating her. The thing that gets me is that last Friday he told me that she "accidentally" showed him some pornographic pictures of herself and he started feeling up on her. He didn't know that I was dating her so I wasn't mad at him. I was kinda pissed at her for not telling me anything about Being so close with my best friend. So after that I text her this morning, I said "I know about you and Random Name, I'm not mad but why didn't you tell me?" she replied "I don't know what your talking about, I don't even like Random Name." I said well I heard that you two were fooling around in the computer lab last Friday" she said "I wasn't, you can even ask Another Random Name, this is really offensive, me and my fiancé just broke off the engagement because of you" I said "Wait, you broke off the engagement because of me, you know what nevermind abou what I said, I was being a dick, I'm sorry, then she keeps going on about how this was like a slap in the face and she almost broke up with me but I talked her out of it, 15 min after everything happened she said, "I wish you were here to hold me right now" and I said "yeah, I do too baby... I love you" she responded "I love you too"
Idk what to do, shes a good liar and I don't think that I'de be able to tell if she's lying.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Maloo Offline
Maloooooo
I can't get enough
*********
 
Maloo's Avatar
 
Name: Lissa
Age: 23
Gender: Female
Location: The US

Posts: 2,588
Join Date: January 12th 2010

Re: My gf is cheating on her fiancé... - April 15th 2012, 10:47 PM

You really trust a girl who would get into a relationship with a guy while being engaged to someone else?

I don't really understand that.
   
2 user(s) liked this post or found it helpful.
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
dani99 Offline
Ms.Average
Experienced TeenHelper
******
 
dani99's Avatar
 
Name: Danielle
Age: 18
Gender: Girly girl <3
Location: Down in the south

Posts: 514
Join Date: February 11th 2012

Re: My gf is cheating on her fiancé... - April 15th 2012, 10:51 PM

My question is - why does it bother you that she is going after your friend but it doesn't bother you that she is engaged to another man? Does her fiance know she is with you? To be honest, she's already been cheating on him with you - so does it shock you that she would go after your friend?

But, you should talk to her about it. Ask her what's going on.

To be honest, I don't see why she's committed to marriage if she's going to go around and cheat like that.


Just a girl with an angel above, just a girl with an angel to love. My angel grew wings and she did dare to fly. But I promise my angel, it's only good night but never good-bye. My angel, my angel in heaven above. My angel, my darling, you'll always have my love. Rest in peace, my sweet darling, it's only temporary that we part. My angel, my angel, how you still do steal my heart </3


   
1 user(s) liked this post or found it helpful.
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Tyr. Offline
Banned
Junior TeenHelper
****
 
Tyr.'s Avatar
 

Posts: 217
Join Date: December 30th 2011

Re: My gf is cheating on her fiancé... - April 15th 2012, 11:09 PM

My best advice would be to introduce yourself to the fiance.

You need a good punch in the head right now. Might straighten your shit out.

- Tyr
   
4 user(s) liked this post or found it helpful.
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Dr.Bobby Offline
Psychologist
Senior TeenHelper
*******
 
Dr.Bobby's Avatar
 
Age: 56
Gender: Male

Posts: 864
Join Date: September 9th 2011

Re: My gf is cheating on her fiancé... - April 15th 2012, 11:26 PM

The girls say it nicer than Ty does, but I have to agree with all three here.

Listen, you might be young and in love, but try to take a step back here and see that love means commitment. At least when you're engaged.

I'd recommend you let go of this one, this girl has some major issues to resolve before she's ready for a solid relationship. Not doing so probably will result in your own heart break.


PM me with the link of the post you'd like me to respond to.
   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
Tyr. Offline
Banned
Junior TeenHelper
****
 
Tyr.'s Avatar
 

Posts: 217
Join Date: December 30th 2011

Re: My gf is cheating on her fiancé... - April 15th 2012, 11:36 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr.Bobby View Post
The girls say it nicer than Ty does
Story of my life


----------



There have been no shortage of people here hurt because they have been cheated on.

[Edited]

- Tyr

Last edited by PSY; April 17th 2012 at 03:47 AM. Reason: Unnecessary comment - even cheaters are allowed to find support on TeenHelp.
   
3 user(s) liked this post or found it helpful.
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
George^^ Offline
Hi :D
I've been here a while
********
 
George^^'s Avatar
 
Name: George
Age: 16
Gender: Other
Location: Guess

Posts: 1,022
Join Date: January 20th 2012

Re: My gf is cheating on her fiancé... - April 15th 2012, 11:39 PM

My question is... Why did you start going out with someone who is cheating and think that you'd be different?

Tyr is right, you need a bit of straightening out, this doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me. But really, if she actually, truly, liked you, she should have broken it off with her fiancé instead of keeping him AND you.

Communication is key, talk to her about it, and about how you feel and ask her about how she feels, etc.

ADD ON:
Tyr, I kind of have to say right, because it's kind of... meh, to expect a cheater to change for one person. - your right, not cool at all to like a cheater and then act as hurt as her fiancé, the man that actually has gotten the promise of being together as a married couple, should be feeling. I'd understand some of this coming out of him...


I've said it once, I've said it twice, I've said it a thousand fucking times
That I'm OK, that I'm fine, that it's all just in my mind
But this has got the best of me, and I can't seem to sleep
It's not 'cause you're not with me, it's cause you never leave

Last edited by George^^; April 15th 2012 at 11:45 PM. Reason: found a mistake, added on something.
   
1 user(s) liked this post or found it helpful.
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
Member
I've been here a while
********
 
Age of Ignorance's Avatar
 
Name: Mitch
Age: 21
Gender: Male
Location: Melbourne, Australia

Posts: 1,341
Join Date: February 3rd 2009

Re: My gf is cheating on her fiancé... - April 16th 2012, 12:07 AM

I love this thread. It seems much like a game.

I too do not have any sympathy here. Both you and her are just immature kids. You will learn. She's just stupid.


Because in the end, it doesn't even matter.
   
  (#9 (permalink)) Old
Redangel1992 Offline
Member
Average Joe
***
 
Redangel1992's Avatar
 
Name: Sara
Age: 21
Gender: Female
Location: Wales

Posts: 110
Join Date: March 10th 2012

Re: My gf is cheating on her fiancé... - April 16th 2012, 12:32 AM

I am engaged to someone if you are engaged shouldn't it mean love? and marriage ? possibly a family?
Cheaters are the lowest of the low you need to get out of this situation for your own good, cheating is a HUGE problem, and i don't agree with it as yes you may want someone different,then go and get her but don't hurt multiple people in the processes.
I'm not judging you i just think for your own good you need to get out and stop the childish fooling around and find someone that isnt going to hurt you or cheat.

meeting the fiancee also sounds like agood idea and then maybe you can tell him and sort his shit out, you may get a beating but it might knock some sense into you and you both need to drop her like a stone and then she may re-think what she is doing as it is wrong, there is no excuse, it is not a game its peoples lives.
   
  (#10 (permalink)) Old
Flavalicious Offline
100% Coffee addict
Junior TeenHelper
****
 
Flavalicious's Avatar
 
Name: Felis
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Location: United Kingdom

Posts: 215
Join Date: February 22nd 2012

Re: My gf is cheating on her fiancé... - April 16th 2012, 07:15 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Composure View Post
I love this thread. It seems much like a game. I too do not have any sympathy here. Both you and her are just immature kids. You will learn. She's just stupid.
I agree with Composure. I think both of you just don't seem to understand what love actually means and not ready to have a mature and serious relationship. I wonder why she even got engaged to that guy if she's going to cheat in the end.

If she's cheating on her fiance with you, then you really shouldn't be surprised if she's with another guy too.
I don't understand how you can be so comfortable being the third person in her relationship and not being mad if she had told you in the first place that she's dating your best friend as well; unless the two of you are poly amorous.


Love is but the discovery of ourselves in others, and the delight in the recognition. - Alexander Smith

Change and growth take place when a person has risked himself and dares to become involved with experimenting with his own life. - Herbert Otto




   
  (#11 (permalink)) Old
Banned
Experienced TeenHelper
******
 
The Goblins Blade's Avatar
 
Name: Will sterry
Age: 23
Gender: Male
Location: Ash, England

Posts: 572
Join Date: November 14th 2011

Re: My gf is cheating on her fiancé... - April 16th 2012, 03:10 PM

If i were you, i would come out now and tell the fiancee whats been going on. It may save you from getting a beating involving his fists later on down the road.
   
  (#12 (permalink)) Old
Megan1 Offline
Member
Senior TeenHelper
*******
 
Megan1's Avatar
 
Name: Megan
Gender: Female
Location: USA

Posts: 932
Join Date: February 6th 2010

Re: My gf is cheating on her fiancé... - April 16th 2012, 05:37 PM

If she is capable of cheating on her fiance, she IS capable of cheating on you too. If she didn't want her fiance any more, she would have broken up with him and THEN moved on to you. If she is keeping both of you (or maybe even more than two of you) at the same time, it means that she wants both of you. My advice is to go find someone who will be happy having you and only you.
   
  (#13 (permalink)) Old
DanceCommander Offline
Don't Panic
I can't get enough
*********
 
DanceCommander's Avatar
 
Name: Jordan
Age: 24
Gender: Female
Location: United States

Posts: 3,050
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: My gf is cheating on her fiancé... - April 16th 2012, 10:59 PM

It is never a good idea to get involved with someone who is in another relationship, let alone someone who is engaged.

Your girlfriend was cheating with her fiance with you. Ergo, it's really not that far of a reach for her to cheat on you with someone else. It also shouldn't be surprising she's guilt tripping you.

This relationship is not going to end happily. It's none of my business, but where do you expect it to go? You'd never be able to have something permanent with her. She has already showed an inclination to cheating, thus far without remorse. My guess is her fiance are going to be on and off, because she is very young, unstable in relationships, and doesn't really know what she wants or understands what a healthy relationship means. It's a lose-lose situation, and the longer you stay in it, the worse it'll be when it ends.

I suggest disentangling yourself from this mess as soon as possible.


"Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?"
"That depends a good deal on where you want to get to."
"I don't much care where-"
"Then it doesn't matter which way you go."

~The Chesire Cat to Alice~
  Send a message via Yahoo to DanceCommander  
  (#14 (permalink)) Old
PSY Offline
Hugh Jackman ♥

TeenHelp Addict
************
 
PSY's Avatar
 
Name: Robin
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Location: Southern California

Posts: 9,090
Join Date: June 12th 2009

Re: My gf is cheating on her fiancé... - April 17th 2012, 03:52 AM

Hey, everyone! While I can understand why so many of you are feeling riled up at the moment, I just wanted to remind you that even cheaters are allowed to find support through TeenHelp. The Bullying forum is open to those who have been bullied AND those who are bullies. The Rape and Abuse forum is open to those who have been raped/abused AND those who have raped/abused. In much the same way, the Relationships and Dating forum is open to those who have been cheated on AND those who have cheated on their partners, or who have enabled others to cheat on their partners. When offering advice, please try to stick to information that can help this member in deciding what is best for them (ex. leaving their current partner, telling the ex-partner the truth, etc.). Saying they don't deserve support because of what they've done isn't going to help anyone in this situation ("support," by the way, CAN include a harsh reality check).






Last edited by PSY; April 17th 2012 at 04:10 AM.
   
  (#15 (permalink)) Old
Tyr. Offline
Banned
Junior TeenHelper
****
 
Tyr.'s Avatar
 

Posts: 217
Join Date: December 30th 2011

Re: My gf is cheating on her fiancé... - April 17th 2012, 04:42 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by PSY View Post
Hey, everyone! While I can understand why so many of you are feeling riled up at the moment, I just wanted to remind you that even cheaters are allowed to find support through TeenHelp. The Bullying forum is open to those who have been bullied AND those who are bullies. The Rape and Abuse forum is open to those who have been raped/abused AND those who have raped/abused. In much the same way, the Relationships and Dating forum is open to those who have been cheated on AND those who have cheated on their partners, or who have enabled others to cheat on their partners. When offering advice, please try to stick to information that can help this member in deciding what is best for them (ex. leaving their current partner, telling the ex-partner the truth, etc.). Saying they don't deserve support because of what they've done isn't going to help anyone in this situation ("support," by the way, CAN include a harsh reality check).
And until he comes back and asks for advice on how to stop being a cheater, I stand by my previous comments. I think you are being somewhat too generous in this situation.

- Tyr
   
  (#16 (permalink)) Old
PSY Offline
Hugh Jackman ♥

TeenHelp Addict
************
 
PSY's Avatar
 
Name: Robin
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Location: Southern California

Posts: 9,090
Join Date: June 12th 2009

Re: My gf is cheating on her fiancé... - April 17th 2012, 05:13 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tyr. View Post
And until he comes back and asks for advice on how to stop being a cheater, I stand by my previous comments. I think you are being somewhat too generous in this situation.

- Tyr
Well, if you refer back to his post, he DOES ask what he should do. If your response is, "Stop being a cheater," then that's a perfectly legitimate response. Saying that he doesn't deserve support of any kind, though, is a different matter.





   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
cheating, fiance, fiancee, girlfriend, relationship

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off





All material copyright ©1998-2014, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.