View Single Post
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Chris Offline
Outside, huh?
Chris's Avatar
Name: Chris
Age: 25
Gender: Male
Location: Illinios

Posts: 4,247
Blog Entries: 3
Join Date: November 28th 2011

Re: Ignoring my friend--sick of feeling like he controls our contact - August 29th 2013, 07:44 PM

I often find that this is the result of Friends With Benefits (FWB's). 1) The two people start off being friends, having some feelings for each other, not wanting a relationship BUT wanting to have fun together with no strings attached. 2) However, what happens within a few months is that the friendship itself begins to fade, or 'die'. The benefits part may still be highly active, but the friends part seems to becoming more inactive. 3) Usually, it gets to the point where it is just benefits. Not being around each other without having some sort of sexual activity. 4) Communication (IE: texts, calls, etc) begin to fade except when one person wants to 'do' something. 5) Then, soon after that period (within the next few months) you find that things start to go wrong. This is the grey area. An example of this period is when you start to pick out all the small things that you don't like. You start to get upset about certain things, and you start to be very specific. 6) Usually, not long after that grey period, the FWB (actually more like SWB - Stranger With Benefits) ends.

I'd say your at the #3 - #4 period. Is it possible to go back to #1, well that depends on both parties. I think you should atleast try to communicate with him. Tell him that you feel like every time you want something, you text me, but we don't have the same friendship as we use too. Tell him that you don't just want benefits, but you also want a friendship. Someone to hangout with. Someone to text/call not only for hookups and sex. Someone to feel close too, and call a best friend. Stress to him that you want things to change.

After that, you just need to wait a week or so. If nothing changes, well then you need to go from there (which would deciding if you should maintain 'FWB' without the friendship part, or if you should cut off everything). If something does change, then there you go!

Keep your head up, and remember communication is key.

Best wishes,

I hope you know that you deserve it all. The best, the most honest, the most beautiful purest love in the world. Not only to be loved by others, but to be loved by yourself. To look in the mirror and think "Yes, I'm exactly who I want to be". To speak up and be proud of yourself. To be brave and open. You deserve the nicest and most caring people to walk into your life. You deserve it all, you know. The whole world...

Last edited by Chris; August 29th 2013 at 08:10 PM.