Thread: Triggering (SH): Opinion About My Cigarette Use...
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Alice Kirkland Offline
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Question Opinion About My Cigarette Use... - March 23rd 2014, 03:47 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Well to start, I've been smoking for almost a year now. I'm a self harmer, and I'm really trying to rehab myself to stop. In reality, I've been self harming for about 2 years now. I was okay with the cutting at first, but later I realized what the cycle was doing to me. I started trying to stop about a year ago. I was slipping up bad, and I didn't know how to help myself anymore. But I started smoking just out of curiosity, and I found that it help to stop the "breakdowns" I'd have before I cut. I was using it as a crutch.

None of my peers smoke like I do, and most of my friends disapprove of my habit. At the moment, I don't really have the motivation to stop. As much as I'd like to get legitimate help, my parents wouldn't support it in the slightest. Why just the other day my father brought up my suicide attempt and said "that he'd hurt me himself if I ever thought about doing something like that again." And no, my dad would not realize that this needs psychiatric help, but instead think that I need to be yelled at and humiliated because,"If I'm crying I'm only trying to get out of getting hit with his belt." And yes his said/done both of those things.

So my question to anyone who bothered to read that whole slew of text is, do you think that the smoking is helping or hurting? And what should I do from this point on seeing as I can't get professional help without seeing repercussions at home?