Originally Posted by WillB
This is long, so here is a summary of my questions,
1. How do I find/develop (myself/personality/who i am)?
2. How do I be spontaneous?
3. How do I make comments in a social situation?
4. How do I express myself? Like, but not limited to being silly or goofy? or making physical contact like a hug, punch in the arm, ear flicking? shouting nonsense?
Here's the background..
I messaged a person i am friends with on facebook about hanging out. past few months this person seemed to be doing super fun adventures, like the pillow fight in nyc for example. Hanging out with this person and his/her friends. It's a new situation and I am very shy and antisocial. But I feel lonely and bored and lost. I am worried about being awkward around these people. Not feeling awkward, but being awkward.
How do I find myself? Who I am? Who am I? It seems like I have no personality.
during a normal week, all i do is watch certain tv shows like lost and 24, office. I read news on pc
. I sleep. i play tennis about once a month on average.
However, regardless of all this, I don't know how to be myself in a social situation. I am usually quiet and don't say anything. I don't make myself noticed. I have trouble making comments or thinking of comments to make. I think the reason i don't make comments is because i cant think of any. For example, people were going around saying 2-line jokes but could not think of any.
Another example, i don't know if most of you know about public pillow fighting in parks in cities? Well, I am going to one of those. But I feel awkward whacking someone with a pillow.
A similiar instance, in a social situation, throwing a chip at someone. i don't see the point in doing that, but people do. they sometimes wrestle too. Or dance to a random song on the radio out of the blue.
I dont get how people can be spontaneous.
Btw... I used to be hyrax with the 24 picture before the site's account issues.
First, anti-social has a very different meaning than not being social. It may seem counterintuitive, however, anti-social personality disorder is not something regarding being unsocial. Don't use improper terms.
Your personality develops as you age. Generally, a bit before or around preteen is when it's fairly developed, still some degree of plasticity. At around 17 or so, it's much harder to change.
For the comments in a social setting, just say something about someone/something, particularly if they are along the lines of what others are saying.
As for the spontaneity, do whatever comes to mind. I know it's a vague and rather useless answer but that's all it is.
As for expressing yourself, I think you answered your question already.
However, each person is different. There's no sense in being someone you're not just to be something else. After all, if you do somehow manage this, then what? You could be around another group that's different, let's say they are similar to your personality.
After reading your post, you clearly do have a personality and everything else.