[MadPoet]

Okay, I really need to get this out, somewhere.

I freaking HATE my STUPID fucking 'FAMILY.'
Long story short, my mom's cousin knows that I'm doing my work at home, and today decided she'd come over and give my mom a piece of her mind for not "forcing me to do my homework." Well fuck them. Is it any of their business? No. It pisses me off. Like I'm stupid or something? "Oh, there's no way she'll get all this done NOW."

It just makes me wonder. Does anyone even know what it's like to be depressed? Does anyone understand it's not just something that you can just snap out of at command? I'm depressed. That's not going to change overnight. Am I the only one who gets that? I have so much pressure on me right now. I don't need people screaming at me and my family, telling us how things should be done. I'm trying my best, I really am. It's hard. Being alive just takes so much effort, you know? But no one gets it.

It hurts my mom. Everyday, she's hurt, and everyday, it's because of me. I feel like shit because of that. Ugh.

Last time I checked depression was a mental ILLNESS. It's an ILLNESS ass holes. It's not just something I can fucking snap out of when someone demands it. Don't tell me "I don't care, you still need to do this and this and that and that" fuck you.

I understand that people don't always understand. But completely ruling out the possibility of even trying to understand really pisses me off. Maybe I'm not perfect. Maybe my mom or my sister or God knows who else isn't perfect either. But so the Hell what? NO ONE is perfect. Not you, not anybody.

I'm glad I told you off. And no, I'm not sorry, even though I said I was. I may not be around you very much or even know you very well, but I hate you.

Oh. And the best part. My whole extended family is now going to know that I'm depressed, that I'm having a hard time doing my work, and that I told her off. Fuck. Fuck my life.

I'm never enough.
I'm pissed off, and fucking alone.
*Sigh* ...

Fuck "God" the world, and everything else in existence.