Originally Posted by Boxy
They don't have a house phone, so they wouldn't be in the phone book, and I don't know her last name b/c it's a different last name than her mom's so I can't call the hospitals...
I do clean my cuts, i probably over clean actually.
I'm not gonna go to a doctor.. i'd rather die of infection first.
I've seen the alternatives thread many times... it works for some people... but distractions aren't substitutions for pain and blood...
I don't keep ice in the house... b/c i'd use it for burns... that's actually the only times i have ice in the house.. b/c no one else ever makes any. And if I made it to hold it or throw it, it take like 2 or more hours to freeze.. that's too much time..
I don't have any markers or i'd try the cut thing... and i don't have any money.. i don't have one single penny.. every last cent ( no exageration ) went into gas money 2 weeks ago.. i don't even have the 20 dollars for my cell phone...
I stopped seeing my therapist probably about a month ago. Because I don't trust her.. I've never really been able to trust adults.. it's ok i guess... i don't really like talking about it anyways.. =\
Does she go to your school? Perhaps you have an old school year book, or someone else who knows her who would know her last name, even if they don't know what hospital she's at.
In order to get help, you have to search for it. Sometimes that means extremely putting yourself outside of your comfort zone, and getting a doctor's help.
No, distractions aren't substitutions for pain and blood, as they're not supposed to be. Distractions are supposed to be something that can get your mind off of your urges. If your mind is engrossed in a tv show, you're not thinking about self harming. That's the point of them.
Does a friend of yours have a marker? Or your school? Or if you want, give me your address and I'll send you one, like, I'm not even kidding.
As for you therapist, is there any chance you could see someone different? People take many tries to find the therapist that is right for them sometimes.