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darkshadow13 Offline
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Age: 17
Gender: Female

Posts: 4
Join Date: June 16th 2017

Been feeling really low.. - June 25th 2017, 04:38 PM

I've been struggling to come to terms with my thoughts lately. I can't enjoy or like myself at all. This is due to thoughts of self hatred, some of which are from my actions in the past. I cannot get over my mistakes at all, and continue to punish myself everyday. I feel like I have brought this all upon myself and that I am terrible. I know that I am sorry for my mistakes, but feel that others will not be so forgiving. I am scared of being hated and lonely. It has made me afraid to go outside, and I now am very judgemental of everything I do or say. This causes me to remain quiet most of the time. As for the self harm, I've begun to scratch my leg very hard, making it red and peeling the skin. I'm afraid I will make it bleed. I limit myself to what I can eat and I purposely stay up late, making myself tired. This is all to cope with this horrible feeling.To me, it's kind of like a punishment for what I have done. I feel like I'll never be able to get over anything and live a miserable life of self-hatred. I don't know if this is my mind over-reacting, or if everyone feels the same about mistakes. I just feel horrible and am ashamed to leave the house or speak with people. I feel like I don't deserve help, but I know that if I don't, then things will only get worse. Please help, as I genuinely feel awful 24/7.