View Single Post
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Rivière Offline
Par la rivière

I can't get enough
*********
 
Rivière's Avatar
 
Name: Sarah
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Location: Wales, UK.

Posts: 3,051
Join Date: June 7th 2013

Re: It's all my fault - October 19th 2018, 11:06 AM

I feel like I have given up trying to talk to him about things that happen. He just brushes them under the carpet and expects me to move on asap. I'm not like him and I can't. Plus I have a history of depression which I already told him about, I can't just let go of something emotional like that but he doesn't think about that aspect.

I did manage to talk to him yesterday and I told him I really missed him, he said he missed me too. We told each other we loved one another and so on, but I can't tell if anything he says is real anymore. Not just after what he said about emotions. I feel like I've definitely lost him, especially from this morning where I messaged him and he came across very cold. He said he wasn't going to the library and I said, 'Oh ok.' and then, 'I guess I'll see you on Monday then ' his only reply was, 'Yeah'. There was no emotion or care in anything he said. Even on closing in the chat he said, 'Ok chat later. Have a nice day'. So I said ok see you, and his reply was really delayed and finally when he did respond, his only response was, 'See ya'.

Maybe I'm overthinking things because we're both stressed, but his responses just seemed so emotionless, so uncaring, like I was wasting his time.

You are not the only person who has said he does not deserve to be with me. I bend over backwards for him and it's never reciprocated. I know that I deserve better yet I let him treat me so poorly anyway.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Doglover2 View Post
You probably don't want to hear this, or believe it but i'll say it anyway.
This doesn't sound like a healthy relationship.
I was taught that relationships are built on trust, love, communication, support and that you are a team.
It doesn't sound like he supports you. And communication is key to healthy relationships.
And when there's an agreement it should you and him vs. The problem. This sounds like its you vs. Him.

I'm so sorry he's like this. His reactions aren't your fault. Maybe talk to him about this and decide whether or not to end things with him. You deserve to be treated well, and not like some robot.

I hope things will improve.
You are not wrong. It isn't healthy. I do feel it is quite toxic and yet I let it happen.

Right now I am trying to get myself together and remind myself that he's not worth it. I know he isn't, I just have to get myself in that emotional patch to believe it too. My head is telling me all these things, but my heart is having trouble catching up.

I will just have to accept that I have lost him, and that from what was said on Tuesday, things will never be the same between us ever again. I will just have to accept what happened and what is happening and focus on myself and my work.

I am trying to see the positive side of this, which is difficult. However I do think that since he seems intent on not going to the library (which is how we 'see' one another in a regular environment, it will give me the chance to try and heal. I know it will be hard, and it will be painful, but I have been through too much and come too far to let this ruin me.... I just have to try and focus on getting myself to believe that emotionally.


Life is for living, not for losing.
   
Reply With Quote