[sashax0]

I starve during the day, but when it hits about ten o'clock, i somehow find my way into the kitchen, and eat until i cant move, then i go to the bathroom and throw up. the whole time i am thinking " Its gonna be okay if i eat, it wont hurt" but i feel terrible afterwards. then i think " i realllyy dont want to throw up" but i do anyways. My parents know, and have said " we can talk to someone about it" but i guess they forgot about that. i havent even lost any weight. i lose control too much, so ive actually gained weight. its terrible. i feel like a waste of everyones time if i ask for help. there is no physically changes so why should anyone even care, i would just feel like an attention whore. i dont feel like i should even bring it up unless i lose at least XXX pounds.
i just hate this all so much. im so jealous of people who can sit at the lunch table and just eat, with no second thoughts.
i dont know what to do