Originally Posted by Lil-x
I can't put my life back together, nothing can fix what's happened or how I feel. I will take a break from 'boys' however. I do have good grades and I do have a life goal. But it's blurred and I can't see myself reaching it now. I am pretty mature as it is, these things have made me understand more, i'm sure you weren't trying to be purposely patronising. Can I just say I'm not a "boys plaything", I do value myself, and to be perfectly honest. I find that pretty offensive. I was pressurised into half of that, does getting abused make me a "plaything"?! I don't believe I deserve anything.
You CAN put your life back together. It will take time, and a great deal of effort, but it can be done. I don't believe that life is ever "over" until it's OVER... as in, once you're dead. So please, don't give up. I know you've been through a lot, I'm not trying to diminish the severity of what you've had to deal with thus far... but at the same time, I can't agree with you and say that your life is over at 13.
I was certainly not attempting to be patronizing with my post. When I said that you would continue to mature, I meant it on a biological level. The human brain is not fully matured at 13 years old. Some research even states that the human brain is not fully matured at 18 years old, the age of "adulthood" in the United States. This is why teenagers can become vastly different people over the span of their high school years... new hormones, new chemical processes, etc. that may alter the way in which you think simply will not take place until you are older.
Finally, you misunderstood me. I would never blame a victim of sexual abuse and/or rape for their plight. I do not believe that if a woman is "dressed like a slut", or drunk, or whatever, that she is "asking for it". Ever.
You argue that you value yourself, and yet in the same paragraph, you state that you don't believe you deserve anything. Which is it? I personally stick with my first response, and the point that I was ultimately trying to get across to you: that you DO deserve better than this, that you are NOT a boy's plaything, and thus should not allow anyone to TREAT you as such, and should never think of yourself as such.
You came to us, asking for help. Three different people have offered their advice, and yet you've shot us all down, been on the defensive. Why is that? We aren't attacking YOU, we are attacking the people in your life who have led you down this dark path. We're trying to show you what can be done to live a more fulfilling and healthy life.