Thread: Triggering (SH): The urge won last night.
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Liz94 Offline
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Name: Elizabeth
Age: 26
Gender: Genderqueer
Location: Woolton Hill

Posts: 464
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Join Date: February 28th 2009

The urge won last night. - August 18th 2009, 03:31 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Ok so all day I had been feeling really depressed as a result I did nothing productive. I just watched TV and wen on the computer.
My parents and sister where argueing on and off all day because ym sister As (year 12) results are coming out on thur and all the talk about them and universities was stressing them all out.

Then my parents shouted at me saying I was stupid and shouldn't bring my bad mood down on the house all the time and dad told me to stop making mum tired , stressed and ill.
My sister then told me to go away and get a life.

By this point I loathed myself and the urge came on.

And because it had been a very stressful day on top of the fact the urge was so strong due to 25 days of freedom. I gave up.

I cut 35 time son the top of my right thigh. moderately deep. It bleed alot actually and is very sensitive. And even though Im partly annoyed at myself for giving in. The feeling of the blade across my skin and the release it gave me really carmed me down and let me sleep. But of corse now Ive got the release the memory of release and feeling like I can cope with life again is much much fresher in my head and is making me want to cut today and cut more today.
LIZ


"Casting all your anxiety upon Him, because He cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7

"For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control." 2 Timothy 1:7

"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect." Romans 12:2

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