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ThePunkAlien Offline
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Name: Josh
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Location: Hollywood USA

Posts: 777
Blog Entries: 23
Join Date: January 5th 2009

Arrow What's your greatest fear? - October 15th 2009, 06:34 AM

Simply put, what's your greatest fear? It can either be what you could become, what you could lose, or something else personal to you.

For me it's a constant fear that one day I could repeat the sins of my father. I'm an orphan, I have adoptive parents but I know I'm nothing like my adoptive father. But, I desperately want to be like him, I want to be his son - I fear being my biological father's son. From what I can gather he wasn't a good man, he might have hurt people, maybe even killed them. Most likely a criminal. Whenever things get wrong, he'd run away. That's why he ran away on me and my Mom. How do I know this? I've been haunted by thoughts that I don't know where they come from, I was put in a situation where I almost killed someone (albeit to save someone) and it came all too naturally and easy for me. When things started heating up around my house with my parents, I ran away - just like him. It's like no matter how far I run (fuck, there I go again), it always brings me back to being his son. I fucking hate it. My worst fear is that it's not in my control, that the whole "most kids eventually become their parents" - well, what if I become my Dad? That fucking scares me more than anything else. I've never told my adoptive parents this, but it really haunts me and has tainted everything in my life. So, that's my fear that I'm trying to avoid without knowing if it's possible. Just hoping evolutionists and socio-biologists are wrong, that we don't get aspects of our parents because I don't want anything from that guy in me.