Re: Nonexistent sex drive :[ -
January 24th 2009, 03:46 AM
Haha, thanks guys. And Stephen, I realize that that may ring true for most couples, but with my boyfriend, it's completely different. He's always there for me emotionally--helps me with things, always wants to spend time together, etc., etc. However, when it comes to sex...even just prior to meeting me, he's told me that he was never one of those adolescent boys who thought about sex 24/7. As a matter of fact, he practiced chastity up until having met me...but because we're so deeply in love, we decided to lose our virginities together. He only opened up to me sexually because he loves me. He's told me that he doesn't believe that true love is about sex and merely "having fun"--he believes that it's a deep-rooted bond--understanding, loyalty, and commitment--having the ability to read and comprehend my thoughts and feelings without my having to say anything. And as said, he's undergoing testosterone therapy [his body didn't produce enough testosterone prior to having the injections], and it greatly affects his attitude and overall mood. He's aggressive with everyone at times--so I've come to the realization that it can't be me. I probably exaggerated a bit in the initial post...I think that all of the unremitting stress and self-esteem issues significantly impacted his sex drive...he's been laying low with everyone, including his friends and people at school, so as said, it can't be me...I simply took it way to personal.
BUT, on a more positive note, we actually did it tonight...and it was GREAT! We were sleeping and he just started caressing my body and kissing me...he even went down on me, which is something he rarely does! It felt so wonderful! The sex was INTENSE! I loved it! I told him that I absolutely adore him, particularly when he dominates me like that ;D He was really into it...and later on in the evening, I asked him what compelled him to take action [haha], and he said that my not having a shirt on is incredibly dangerous ;] I guess I'll go topless more often when with him [in private of course!]
Overall, I believe that getting more sleep, eating properly, acquiring some sort of contentment with himself and his body, and ultimately, achieving some peace of mind will help bring our sex life back up to speed.
Thanks again for the input, guys.
“It’s weird, like, you can see the cruelest part of the world...the cruelest part…
but then on the other side you see the most beautiful part, you know?
It’s like you go from one extreme to the next…and they’re both worth it
because you wouldn’t see the other without the other one…
but that cruel part is damn cruel, and you’ll never forget it.
But that Heaven is Heaven…so it’s like,
I’ve been to both places."