Ugh. My anxiety has come back in a nasty way.
Friday night I have 3 bad dreams in a row, which totally messed me up for the majority of the day. I felt better once I went to my friend's house and got ready for Prom.
I felt pretty good up until one of my friends starts bitching and complaining about how much the music sucks and how he hates prom and how much he misses his special someone and how he's worried about them. Which he does.
A lot. Which pissed me off, because no matter what kind of music they play at prom or how the people are dancing, it's
prom! It's supposed to be a happy memory (sort of like a right-of-passage type of thing). But he's just sitting there wallowing and taking everyone down with him! And he's not even trying to make himself feel better.
This didn't start until prom was half-way over. He continued to complain even afterward. Then he went home.
We got back to my friend's house, to my relief. my feet hurt (not afraid to say that.
) and my anxiety had sort of come back once my friend started complaining and making me feel bad. I took my meds, felt better.
We stayed up until after two, playing Uno Spin. But once everyone went to sleep I started having issues. My mind began racing and I started shaking and having bowel issues.
The times I was almost asleep I had to get up because I had to pee.
I even had to call my Mom like at 3 or 4 in the morning because I was feeling so bad. She told me that I wasn't going insane and that I just needed to try and relax.
Eventually fell asleep and woke up around 8. Felt sick when I woke up and felt a little anxious, but my friend woke up around the same time and she kept my mind occupied.
Was feeling better the rest of the morning. I talked to one of my friends about how frustrated I was at our guy friend and she could totally understand. Talking to her helped loosen me up, so when I got home I talked to Mom and cried. Which helped a lot. I went to sleep and slept for a long time.
Woke up and felt kind of blah again.
I've been struggling with anxiety even since my Grandma died back in January, but I had been doing good for about 2 weeks prior to prom.
I'm just tired of anxiety and thinking I'm going insane and thinking I'm a bad person for all the little things that I know aren't my fault.
I even feel bad for posting about my friend and his problems!