theres always a reason to keep going if you look hard enough. theres your first car, the sense of independance and freedom, and anything else you can think of.
right now, going to college, you have the opportunity to do whatever you want and whatever you 've dreamed of doing. it may be stressful but with focus, confidence and determination, i know you can pull through.
you may have had a tutor in highschool, but that doesn't mean you're not smart or anything. everyone grasps concepts at different paces, it has nothing to do with your learning capability. it takes me a while too, especially with math.
there may not be anything catching your eye in life right now, but after some time, you'll find everything you've ever wanted.
PM anytime, BEST of luck in college!