Re: How do I make my boyfriend feel more loved and more secure -
October 6th 2010, 01:51 AM
There are two things you can do to start to remedy this situation.
The first is to sit down with your boyfriend and have a serious talk with him. Let him know you see all the things that he does and how much you appreciate him. Let him know how much you care about him. But explain to him that you have some lingering problems from past relationships that are keeping you from being as close as you want to be in this one. Open up about those issues in detial, if you like; it may help him understand what is going on with you. Let him know the signs or things you might do to push him away when you are struggling with these issues, but that they do not mean you don't care for him or appreciate him. Ask for his patience and understanding, and his support for you in helping you to deal with them.
The second, key piece to make this work is to actually face them and deal with them; it does no good to have someone support you if you aren't actually working to overcome them. That support is meant to be something to lean on, not something to be your crutch. If possible, try and see a therapist about dealing with these issues, or at least talk to somebody who can help you really process them and get to the core of them. It's hard work, but it will pay off if you can really look at yourself and figuring out how to change those beliefs from those past relationships.
Between the two of these things, you can improve that situation with your boyfriend, but without one or both of them things will continue to leave a rift between you two.
The lines are drawn, the orders are in
Dance Commander is ready to sin
let's get this party started right, y'all...
It would be awesome
If we could dance-a
It would be awesome yeah, let's take the chance-a
It would be awesome yeah, let's start the show
Because you never know,
you never know,
you never know until you go
I wanna make it last forever
I wanna make it last forever...
~*~ Formerly known as MacGuffin formerly known as Superstar ~*~