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Avicularia Offline
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Age: 27

Posts: 11
Join Date: June 7th 2009

Don't want to stop binging and purging - October 17th 2010, 09:32 PM

I've been making myself sick for over a year now i think, i've never really got thin, but i know i'm not fat. I want to be thin, i don't like my weight, even though i accept i'm not fat, i want to be thinner. Its weird, because people say if you have bulimia or anorexia is because you think you're fat. But hey.
There's a girl at school who is bulimic, and its quite well known, she's really thin now. I think i'm probably the only person who see's her and wants to be that weight, and its made me think about it lots.
I sometimes binge and then purge, if there's noone at home, or i often just bring up an evening meal when family is around. But when there's noone at home i'll sometimes purge a few times a day. Holiday is coming up, and i'll be home alone a fair bit. I know i shouldn't but i look forward to being able to eat what i want, and bring it all back up without worrying about people being around. I don't want to stop being sick, i like the feeling of being empty, mentally and physically, and i start to feel physically sick now when i'm full. Mmm, i don't know. Is there anyone else that just doesn't want to stop being sick? I know i *should* stop, but i can't because i don't want to.
Just wondering if anyone else has this problem?