[carter27]

I'm struggling with my sexuality. i've never really been in a big relationship before until i got into highschool. guys just didnt notice me, and if they did i was never really into them. I feel uncomfortable when anyone tries to flirt with me because of my lack of experience. I had my very first relationship in highschool (that lasted almost 4 years) and it was with my best friend who was a girl. i had no idea what was happeneing i just went with it at first and i totally was into her. i ended up falling for her hard and the relationship ended very badly about 2 years ago. it was the only relationship i was ever in and no one really knew we just kept it a secret. i think it was experimentation for both of us, which started out really well.

But now i'm really confused. i know for a fact that i'm attracted to girls but i'm not sure about guys. yes i think theyre gorgeous and i'd love to try and fool around (though sometimes the thought of a penis grosses me out ) but i just wish i could figure it out. I'm not embarassed to be attracted to girls, but i know i wont be accepted by the people around me (which i know is wrong it shouldnt matter what sexuality you are) but my parents are very homophobic.

i dont have many friends, but i'm scared they wont believe me, and then they will act different around me, especially since over the years i'd always complain about being single and wanting a boyfriend.

i'm just confused and looking for some help with this