My friend making bad decisions -
August 7th 2011, 03:29 AM
I'm not entirely sure where this goes, feel free to move it.
So, there's a girl that's been my best friend since she was born (she's 2 years younger than me), I'll call her Mary. We spent childhood together, trying to convince random people in grocery stores that we were sisters and the usual stuff, but we grew apart a bit as we got older. She just turned thirteen in May, and I feel like a total loser compared to her insane levels of teenager-ness.
So, I'm just getting out of a PRTF (long term mental health shithole), and I can definitely see I've missed a lot. While I was there I was hearing all sorts of stories from my mom about her issues; a cyberbully from school, getting into fights, sneaking kids into her house, even getting suspended from school at the end of the year. I finally saw her again, and I literally cried because it upset me so much that she's outgrown me. Seriously, she spent our entire "reunion" craning her neck past me to see people she knew, and talking about some random girl and how she wished she would "go die in a hole". She tried to cheer me up when I started crying, but I could see what was going on. I was a nuisance to her, she was being nice to me because she felt obligated, not because she wanted to. But those aren't the things I'm making this post about.
See, that same day she mentioned "I've made out with so many guys since you've been gone", and how she "half lost" her virginity when some guy fingered her. The fingering thing was really concerning me, but I was too indecisive to do anything about it because I felt like I didn't really have a say since we're not close any more. But then, tonight I went to her mom's birthday party at a restaraunt (our moms are friends), and chatted with Mary while I was there. I had a good time, we had some ok conversations. But I could see that she had what looked like letters cut into her forearm. When I asked her about it she said, "it's not letters it's numbers" and was very defensive and wouldn't tell me anything else. A little later I got bored and asked to see her phone (I don't have one right now). I don't know what she was expecting, but eventually I located her texts. I'd seen Mary using her phone continuously throughout the evening, but I hadn't really thought about what she was saying. I found some texts that had been sent during the party to someone called "Cowboy", about me! I saw her tell him my name, and complain about me and how rude I am, before she caught me and took it away. She's really angry at me now but I'm just concerned.
I feel like she's spiraling away from me into a Hell of bad decisions! I tell her I love her, and she says the same, but I know she's hiding things from me-bad things. She has all these friends now, stupid teenager friends I haven't met, and I think (I might as well know it's pretty obvious) they are talking her into doing some serious stuff. And what hasn't happened already is bound to happen.
I don't know what to do. She won't listen to me, she's not going to take my advice. Telling my mom or hers will just cause trouble, and make her hate me more. I really don't want her to end up in one of those hells like me, or worse. She's not thinking about it like I am! I'm so worried for her, but I can't think of a way to help her. I'm not sending her to one of those hells, it's too awful, she doesn't deserve it. Oh please, what can I do?