Originally Posted by Kristen1995
How can I be so sure? See my reply above about the CONTEXT.
I understand every word you said. And you aren't not the first one to say this. It's easier said than done. I'm not sure if you know what it is really like to have PTSD (being raped) and severe depression. It's hard to describe my feelings. I'm losing energy and faith.
I know it's easier said than done. And no, I do not know what it's like to have PTSD. You're absolutely right. Even if you could articulately describe your feelings, I could probably never truly understand them, no matter how much I wanted to.
And to be frank, you're probably never going to hear anything you haven't heard before. Just because something's new doesn't mean it'd be a better course of action.
Kristen, think about it this way: If they really didn't want you, why didn't they put you up for adoption? Christianity doesn't say you have to raise the child. And many adoptive families are very religious, they would have had no issues worrying about whether or not you would be brought up religiously. I think that's proof they wanted to keep you.
And just like how I can never know what you're really feeling, you will never really know what was going on in your parent's minds. Just like we are being forced to make assumptions about you, you are making assumptions and projections with them. Perhaps you're only choosing to focus on the negative statements, and forgetting the positive ones, a very well-documented error of memory.
I think the fact they didn't put you up for adoption speaks volumes about their true feelings, in spite of whatever petty outbursts might occur on occasion.