Something I wrote yesterday (About a not-transitioned and not-out transguy) -
November 9th 2011, 12:54 AM
The Boy She Could Never Be
Julia looked in the mirror as she brushed her hair
Jason reflected back at her, rubbing his short-haired head.
Julia put down her brush and stood up for her desk.
Jason moved his hands down from his head and stood up from his desk.
Julia walked across her room and picked up a baseball cap.
Jason walked across his room and picked up the baseball cap that he had gotten the first time that his father had taken him to a baseball game.
Julia smiled at the hat, thinking about how, when her father had bought it for her, he had finally stopped pretending she was a princess.
Jason smiled at the memory, thinking about how his father had finally stopped pretending he was a princess, but then frowned when he remembered that his father hadnít started seeing him as a prince.
Julia put down the baseball cap and walked over to where her ballerina music box was sitting.
Jason put down the baseball cap and walked over to where the ballerina music box was sitting, covered with so many clothes that he basically had to dig through them just to get to it.
Julia opened the music box and listened as it started playing its cheerful tune.
Jason opened the music box and felt on the verge of tears as the music played, thinking about the Christmas ten years ago when he had asked for a Nerf gun, and received the music box instead.
Julia closed the music box and lay down her bed.
Jason closed the music box and flopped onto his bed and put his hands up his shirt, up to his chest.
Julia lay on her bed, feeling as though she had left her body, completely unaware of whatever she was doing.
Jason traced the outline of the underwire in his bra, closing his eyes, pretending it belonged to someone else.
Julia realized she was tracing the outline of the underwire in her bra, and moved her hands so that they were underneath the bra, cupping one of her breasts in each hand.
Jason held one of his breasts cupped in each hand, squinting his eyes as though trying to disconnect himself from his body.
Julia pulled her shirt back down over her stomach, and lay with her arms by her side.
Jason pulled his shirt back down over his stomach and lay with her arms by his side, daydreaming about the day he would no longer have breasts attached to his body.
Jason sighed, then refocused his eyes and stood up from his bed.
Julia walked over to her desk one more time.
Jason walked over to his desk and picked up the ace bandage he had bought the other day.
Julia headed into her bathroom.
Jason headed into his bathroom, and as he stood in front of the mirror he wrapped the ace bandage around his chest and put his baggy t-shirt back on.
Julia looked in the mirror.
Jason reflected back at her, a boy with short brown hair and a flat chest.
Julia saw the boy that she could never be.
My name is Jonah and I don't post things very often