[lifesucks]

Lauri,i don't have any member of my family near me..i'm in England and they are way far from me;since i was a child i kept all my struggles and deep toughts for miself,i'm not used to open my heart ..and yeah,i really don't remember when it was last time when somebody hugged me...i cry every night,and sometimes i feel like i wanna cry for no reason.but now i have all the reasons to cry;i'm alone,sad and is nobody who can help me..you know,today i was in train and when i saw the button OPEN for the train door i suddenly had images with me jumping out...it's so difficult...i don't ask for much..i just want to smile and be happy like most of people are;i ask too much?i feel like i don't desearve to be happy,all this years i tryed to tell miself that everything's gonna be ok and it will end;but i'm tired to wait...