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xxprincessxx Offline
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Name: Sammie
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Location: Ohio

Posts: 488
Join Date: March 7th 2010

not ready to get help.... - September 4th 2012, 04:29 AM

i've come to the conclusion that i'm just not ready to give up cutting yet and i do realize that it has to be my decision to do so....i also do realize that i am addicted and someday i'm going to have to face up to my problems and work through them, but if I'm not ready, I'm not sure now is the proper time....

quite frankly, i don't care who know's that i cut or not, i have a few on my wrist as of now and i've been wearing short sleeves, without even attempting to hide them. (at one end i really really don't want anybody to notice, but at the same time i'm almost desperate for somebody to ask, and i'm still trying to figure out how that is possible.)

I also haven't been talking to anybody when I get the urges anymore either. Just because my friend that I used to talk to basically told me how it doesn't make him comfortable and he feels like he can't help me with that part of my life. And everybody else is just kind of "meh." For some reason that hasn't been bothering me either....I get urges, give in, don't feel bad....

I honestly don't know what's going on and I have no idea why this doesn't bother me anymore and why I'm not caring to reach's obviously on my mind a little....and I feel like I'm unconsciously reaching out for help but not hiding the cuts, but nobody is noticing or if they do not saying anything. And there are certain friends/professors that I try to "make" notice, but I'm failing....I also cant place why I would be trying to show them...

Any advice?

all i want is a place to call my own and
mend the hearts of everyone who feels alone,
you know to keep your hopes up high and your head down low.