[Stuckinhell]

Ok....so my best friend of 5years and my ex have got together. And to be honest i cant cope. But its not as simple as it may seem. Firstly, we were drawing apart ourselves, as she has left college and working full time and we rarely see each other. secondly, my ex and i were together for 2 years and strongly in love. He then started taking drugs, and cheating, and acting dick, then broke up with me. I was devastated and she knew it. That week they made out. She apologised. Few months later she gave him head, and didnt tell me, this carried on for a while. She's been in love with him for 8years, so i can understand her.

But my problems are more how i feel, rather than whats happened. I know theres nothing i can do, and tbh i dont feel i have the right to do anything as weve been broken up for 6months. But i feel really hurt. More I feel the loss of him even stronger. But i shouldnt. Because i'm dating someone else, who means a lot to me. so now i feel guilty.

And, i'm scared what he'll tell her. When i started dating him, he'd been dumped by a girl after 3 years, who was also my best friend. He told me things about them...what they'd done and things....to reasure me. but i cant deal with him doing the same. Critising how i looked and things. But then i know he did truly love me. So maybe he wouldnt.

Oh god. Just the thought of them together, makes me want to cry so much. He meant so much to me. And however selfish it is, i dont want her to have him. Things just feel complicated. help